Kolkata

This is a small part of the amazing trip that Jonathan and I have experienced over the last two weeks.  It is very fresh in my brain right now and was quite emotionally draining.  I am not quite sure we were both ready to get off the airplane from Nepal to be hit in the face with the overwhelming sights and smells that are big city India.  We arrived at the airport only to be overwhelmed by the many men demanding we get into their taxi.  We soon realized our mistake of not getting a pre-paid taxi.  We marched right back into the airport and got a pre-paid taxi for about a third of the price!  After riding through Kolkata for an hour in a taxi we arrived at our beautiful hotel - it really was a splurge!  Within minutes of Jonathan telling the receptionist his name he tells us that they did not in fact hold a room for us despite the booking and our email contact with them.  It was all a matter of the language barrier.  However, this rather kind man did show us a hole in the wall right down this sketchy alley.  Yup we stayed there.  It was really dirty and the circumstances were all very odd.  We both were near tears initially but after a hot bucket bath, food, and a beer we could truly laugh about our scenario!

The sights of Kolkata are unreal and unlike anything I have seen thus far in India, well, now that I think of it, very similar to Varanasi, but I will talk about that in a later post!  The discrepancy of wealth was more noticeable than where Jonathan and I live.  Many people are living on the streets.  Their whole lives take place on the streets, using the bathroom, bathing, cooking, waking up your parents, playing games, doing the wash, getting ready for work, all aspects of your life are there happening on the streets in the public eye.  We saw families huddled around little paint cans with a small fire in it to keep warm in the cool winter air.   Another pretty interesting thing we saw was these kitchens that are in the streets.  They are full kitchens that produce amazing looking food.  We were tempted but the idea of being laid up in that hotel with stomach and bowel issues was not too enticing so we just looked on in awe at the mass production of beautiful looking food that took place on the street.  The thing that really blew me away was the beautiful looking dough that was in round balls waiting to be thrown onto a well oiled wok to create delicious roti.  Or the oil drums which had been recreated into a tandoori oven.  People are so amazing and so beautiful.  One thing we also noticed which is very sad is the number of children that you see working.  There are children working everywhere.  That is something we definitely do not see in Tamil Nadu.

My last thing that I must write about Kolkata is the human rickshaw pullers.  Having ready City of Joy and learning about it a little in college I was fully interested in seeing this because a part of me could not believe that it was real.  I am not sure how I convinced myself that somehow it would not be true, but it was.  Thankfully I had someone as beautiful, loving, and supportive as Jonathan with me to experience the human rickshaws with.  They made me very emotional.  They were so small and fragile looking sometimes carrying these massive loads of goods, heavy Indian women with shopping bags and the nicest saree you could imagine, a tourist with all their luggage, a couple running errands, etc.  It is hard to imagine living a life where you would engage in such an act.  Where you would not think about how dehumanizing it would be to pay a person very little money to pull you around when you know that they are not eating proper meals, are probably homeless, and have a family to support.  Jonathan and I did buy bells from some of them.  He surprised me by just all of a sudden asking one man on a corner if we could buy a bell.  He over enthusiastically handed over his bell and asked us for 200 rupees.  Jonathan gladly handed over the money and handed me the bell as a gift.  It was the best gift I have ever received.  I had read about the bells; buying bells is a way to support the rickshaw pullers without supporting the system that exploits them.  Many men on the same corner then swarmed us and held out their bells.  I wanted to buy them all.  We then walked around with the intent of buying more.  I bought three more and Jonathan bought one.  We ate lunch at this cool stand called Hot Kati Rolls.  They make delicious wraps made out of chapati with whatever stuffing you want - it was delicious.  I got a potato and veggie mix and Jonathan got chicken with this amazing spice mix on it!  We then got in a taxi and headed to the train station.  But I made the taxi driver stop on a street corner and I got out and bought one more bell.  The man was super excited and happy.  He held his hand out to shake my hand and with a very pleased expression folded his money.  I shook his hand and ran back to the taxi.  I can't wait to someday go back to Kolkata.  It is a city with so much to offer, so much more to see, and so many more bells to buy.

Fairness cream

I have been thinking about this blog entry for quite some time.  It is a heavy topic but something that surely is a problem in India and all around the world.  Skin color.  I have never looked at a human being and judged them based on the color of their skin.  I think that the beauty of a person lies much deeper than the body they were given.  I do know that this is not the case for everyone.  I know this to be true because even today we face discrimination based on skin color.  Not just in America but all around the world.  In Tamil Nadu beauty is defined by how light your skin is.  Children with whiter skin get more attention at school and are more popular among their peers.  It is sickening.
I guess this idea that I will present should not be much of a surprise but it still shocks me, despite the fact that we provide similar products in America.  There are several companies who sell fairness creams.  Creams with bleaching agents to make your skin more fair.  There are face washes, body washes, day creams, night creams, long term treatments, etc.  These companies are maintaining the idea that lighter is better and they are making a profit off of people.  Jonathan and I have noted a few companies that make fairness creams and we have stopped purchasing products from them but it is nearly impossible as most all large competitors carry a fairness product.
I wish we lived in a society where all were just happy with their skin color.  I wish that people would see how beautiful each person's skin is and how it is unlike anyone else's skin.  For example, my skin has this slight yellowish tint to it.  Jonathan's skin is very white with rosy patches on his cheeks and freckles all over his arms.  Durqa's skin is this dark shade of brown.  Her forearms and back are even deeper shades of dark chocolate color from hard work in the sun.  Ravanan's skin is this creamy brown color with deep lines of dark brown on his palms.  All four of us beautiful.  We should all just embrace our skin color and love each other for the beautiful shade we provide to the wide spectrum of color of human skin tones.  So whether you are thinking of going tanning, applying tanning cream, bleaching your skin, applying fairness cream, or any other skin altering product, remember, I think that your skin color is beautiful and it looks good on you!

Photo Project

I am doing a photo project with my students and it is amazing.  I took all their portraits a few weeks ago and then got the pictures printed.  I then had them practice talking about themselves and then got them to write it all down.  Kind of as a record of the progress they have made.  I then pasted all the pictures onto paper and had them write in their best penmanship about themselves.  I then let them color on the paper too!  They all loved every minute of it.  I have fully completed the project with my fifth standard class.  I took their pictures while they were holding their projects.  I then explained that they got to keep the project.  They could not believe it.  I then had a classroom fully of over excited children who were all trying to read their project aloud to me at the same time.  It was nice to see how proud of their work they were and how excited they were to take it home and share it with their family.  Today I will start working on the project with my fourth standard class!  I will post the pictures when they are completed!

  All the photos!

Naveen Kumar, a ten year old, and some beautiful updates!

Two weekends ago I went to go and visit Jonathan.  As usual I was greeted by all the children with hugs and English greetings.  I always feel like a celebrity when I come to the Gurukulum.  Right when I got there a few of the older children asked how my father was and told me that they have prayed for him.  One student, Naveen Kumar, told me he has prayed for my father many times.  He even knew his name.  He is most certainly a very beautiful young man.  He is very intelligent, inquisitive, empathetic, and dedicated.  He goes on daily runs with Jonathan.  I was lucky enough to be able to join them on one of their runs.  It was beautiful.  Naveen told me what each and every tree was and what its medicinal value was.  He even made us chomp on leaves as we ran as it was good for our health!  He got to talking about his future, family, and native place.  It is apparent that he is very proud of his culture and his country.  On the topic of his family, he shared with Jonathan and I that his mother died and it was just his dad and his brother.  His dad is at home and his brother is in another hostel somewhere else.  I nearly started crying with that but then he just blurted out, "I want my mother".  I see these children all the time and I see the children everyday at my site.  I see them playing with their peers, doing school work, doing chore, and living their daily lives - and through this I think I have just been over taken by their daily joy and beauty to remember that their lives have been altered by a death in the family or extreme poverty.  When you realize all of this it makes you see and feel the greatness and beautifulness of these children even more.

The other day Durqa and her sister showed up in my room.  This is not all that unusual.  Shortly after arriving Durqa told me that her sister is very sad.  I asked why and she told me that her sister's son, who is ten years old, left this passed weekend to go and work in a egg laying chicken factory.  He will no longer attend school.  I do not know all the details but Durqa has told us that her sister's husband left the family, leaving Durqa's sister with four young children to care for, three girls and one boy.  They live with Durqa's mother and father.  Durqa helps to care for them as well.  Now, I don't mean to bring the reader down with sad things from India but its important to understand that for a family with a low socio-economic status this is not all that unusual.  Not all children are lucky enough to end up in an environment like the Gurukulum where they are cared for, fed, clothed, and most importantly - educated.  I wish there were more non-profits and more social services in India to help all the children.

The coffee/tea man knows my name!!!  I realized the other day how integrated into my little neighborhood I feel.  It's funny, its one of those things you don't really realize right away until suddenly one day it just hits you!  The men who work at the local restaurant know my name because I frequently buy coffee, tea, or naan there.  The man at the coffee/tea stall knows my name because I go there each morning for coffee.  And he actually really likes me because I am friends with Durqa!  I see the man who recharges my internet somewhere else in town and he smiles at me and waves.  It feels good to be integrated into the community and feel comfortable.  Have I mentioned lately that I love India!?!?!

"I am Jesus!"  So the other day I was sitting on the floor in one of the classrooms with a few of my children.  Christmas is all the talk lately because Laura and Jenna are going home for the month of December.  They asked me if I was Christian and if I celebrated Christmas.  This turned into all my children proclaiming to me what religion they practice but the best response was from one of my two Christian students who eagerly pointed at herself and said, "I am Jesus!"  I couldn't help bursting out laughing.  As you can tell my students struggle with the 'to be' verb still.

In the evenings I have started drawing with the hostel students from my school.  There are only seven of them but it is so much fun.  We just sit and color pictures.  It is a simple activity but I have so much fun just being with them.

The pictures I included at the top of my blog:
The first is of me arranging drawings from Jonathan's children to hang them on the wall.  Jonathan caught me off guard in my saree hard at work.
The second is of Jonathan and Naveen at the entrance to the Gurukulum before their run.
The third is of Jonathan with two of his students and their parents on the day that they came to visit.

Hail to Aquafina

This is just a real short entry to tell you all that Jonathan and I are truly obsessed with Aquafina.  Why?  Well, for one thing it is the greatest tasting water you can find in India.  And the other reason:  It is safe and clean!  Jonathan's drinking water is not always clean.  He often struggles with stomach problems largely due to his drinking water.  When I visit him I look forward to purchasing a large bottle of Aquafina and drinking it all in one go.  We have discussed this issue many times and think that it is funny since we are strongly opposed to bottled drinking water and here we are in India and we have spent literally hundreds of rupees on bottled water - and we enjoyed every minute of it!

We also were discussing how crazy it is that back home we never question the quality of water we are given.  We go to a restaurant and receive water - no big deal.  In India we go to a restaurant and receive water and we both stumble over who will be first to ask for the Aquafina as we kindly just look into the glass wondering if that water is really that bad!  We also talked about how crazy it is that all water at home is drinkable.  You could stand in your shower and just gulp down as much water as you wanted.  If you were to drink the yellowish/brownish water that we bathe in you most surely would be laid up for at least a month with some terrible GI illness.  So next time you are at your facet pouring yourself a glass of beautiful water do us a favor:  Be grateful and most definitely enjoy it!

A few beautiful things

Last night as I was walking in my neighborhood, running some errands, I got to experience a truly beautiful celebration.  The power had just gone out and it was getting dark.  Houses and shops had very beautiful rangoli made with colorful powder and not just white powder.  Around the rangoli and all around the outside of their houses and shops were little pottery vessels with oil in them and a burning flame.  The sight was quite beautiful.  I asked a few people what was going on and they told me it was a time to pray to their family God.  The moon was also full and every once in a while a big beautiful firework would go off overhead.

Today I arrived at school all excited for my lesson plan.  Luckily my lesson plan involved my camera because upon arriving at school I encountered a beautiful scene.  The fourth standard boys came running to meet me as I arrived at school.  The kept saying things in Tamil, all excitedly forgetting that I only speak English.  I followed them to the lot behind the school to the empty field.  There they showed me that they had just finished burying a crow.  The older girls told me it was found dead in the school this morning so the boys buried it.  They made a cross out of sticks, the girls went and got  some flowers, they dug a hole and then placed rocks on top of the mound.  It was a rather beautiful thing to witness.  I am not sure if birds or crows in particular have some special meaning but they did make it apparent that even a crow deserves a proper burial.

My lesson plan was fun.  I took a picture of each student which I will print very soon.  Then each student will make a poster with their picture and some information about themselves written in English.  I did an example one of myself on the blackboard and they all became super excited.  It seems like a good culminating activity since break will be beginning very soon.  They all appreciated standing by themselves in front of the camera. One thing to note is that Indians do not smile in front of a camera.  In fact the exact opposite seems to happen - their faces just automatically go to a serious face - you have to make them smile!
http://s1150.beta.photobucket.com/user/kyliejedwards/library/Children%20portraits

Diwali and more

On Friday I left for Jonathan’s place.  On the way I met Durqa at the bus stand.  She gave me some chocolate to share with Jonathan and some sweet coconut bread to share as well.  She also gave me a beautiful saree as a Diwali gift.  It is black, red, and white and so beautiful.  I will definitely cherish it forever.  She had rushed to the bus stand so she was all sweaty and winded.  I gave her some water and she sat down and let out a massive amount of air.  She seemed stressed.  I have gathered that Diwali provides much stress on households.  It seems like the pressure to provide gifts and prepare food for any guests that you may have is equal to the pressures of Christmas.  I talked with her for a little while until my bus pulled up.  She told me I had to call her every day when I was gone and that she needed to talk to Jonathan Sir.  I assured her that we would talk and that Jonathan would speak with her too.  She then came and sat on the bus with me until I assured her that I was safe and would not let any men sit in my seat!  She stood by the door of the bus until the bus took off and waved me goodbye.  I felt such love for her at that moment.  She is just such a beautiful person.

After that bus ride I then caught a bus to Keeranur which is where Jonathan stays.  Right when I got on the bus this young woman in a saree came pushing through the crowd to stand right next to me.  There was no room whatsoever on that bus.  Suddenly, she pointed at me and said, “Jonathan Sir, Miss?”  I instantly started to laugh and told her yes I was the Miss associated with Jonathan Sir.  She then told me that she is the sister to the driver of the Gurukulum.  Both Jonathan and I know the driver quite well so I nodded and told her that I knew him.  We kept up small talk the whole way to Keeranur.  Once there she waited until we spotted Jonathan at the bus stand because the power was out so there were no lights and it was dark out, and Keeranur is not the safest place.  She was so sweet and it made me think about how many people there are in India yet how I had just happened to run into someone in one of the larger cities who knew me! 

The next day Jonathan and I traveled to Coimbatore and watched a movie.  We also bought some Christmas gifts and a few warm items for our adventures into the Himalayan region!  Because of the holiday the bus stand was a mad house.  We waited at the bus stand for over an hour and a half trying to catch a bus back home.  Finally, we got on a bus but once we got to Dharaparum we had already missed the last bus to Keeranur so we stayed the night in Jonathan’s old lodge. 

The next day we went to Chandra’s house and ate a ton of food.  We had sweets, chicken biriyani, white rice with rasam, and more sweets.  It was such a good meal.  And I always love being around Chandra because she is such a lovely human being.  She is so kind and genuine in her interactions.  We also met this couple who speaks English perfectly.  They were nice to visit with us for so long.  We even stopped by their house on our way home to have tea.  We then headed back home and played with the children for quite some time.  They were excited to see we had come back!  Right when we got back we were each gifted a new Indian outfit by a very rich donor to the Gurukulum.  I was given the uniform saree that all the wardens were given which was quite an honor.  And Jonathan was given a beautiful white dress shirt and a new dhoti.

The next day we took a short trip into Dharaparum to walk around and buy snacks for the kids for Diwali.  We walked around and then purchased our snacks at the bus stand.  We went back to the Gurukulum and handed out the snacks.  The kids were so grateful and appreciated the snacks.  And if you have read Jonathan’s blog about high fives and handshakes you will get the humor in this.  Jonathan is handing out snacks and I am the official handshaker next to him.  He refused handshakes because he was handing out.  I am sure that I shook each hand at least twice and maybe more, which would explain my sickness right now!

The rest of the day we just hung out with the kids and watched them get excited for Diwali.  They even set off a few fire crackers early in the evening to bring in the holiday!  Jonathan and I also did a swing dance number for the kids, which they thought was awesome.  It was a very fun evening.  During prayer Jonathan had somehow disappeared and I was left to give all the students a speech.  I told them all that I love seeing them and miss them when I am in Trichy and that they are all beautiful children.  You would have thought I gave them each a million dollars by the expressions on their faces.  It was a lovely moment.

The next morning all the children were extremely joyous and beautiful of course!  They were all in brand new uniforms and running about blowing things up.  Some of the girls were doing each other’s hair, trying to make it perfect!  We were then rushed to eat.  After eating I changed in my new saree from the donor.  We were then rushed into the classroom area where there was a stage set up and all the children were quietly sitting on the floor.  The guru from Kerala and the Gurukulum guru who is 98 years old were sitting in front as well.  We listened to the 98 year old guru give a speech and then three men played carnatic music.  It was beautiful to listen to.  I sat on the floor with the girls, which was fun. 

After that we took many photos with the wardens, the driver, and the three older Sir’s who take care of the children.  Jonathan escaped.  He has definitely mastered his escaping skills because it took me several minutes to figure out that he had left.  I told them all I was going for a face wash and then found Jonathan happily sitting in his room at his computer, relieved to be out of the spotlight and have some alone time.  We then took a nap which lasted for quite some time.  It is draining entertaining all the children and my body attempting to fight of at least 30 different viruses at the same time!  We then ate a beautiful big meal of biriyani, chilli cauliflower, and a sweet!  It was so delicious.  After that we walked to town to buy jasmine for my hair and as a gift to the wardens.  Jonathan and I appreciated the quiet time and the time together.  The wardens were so happy to receive the jasmine and roses which we gave them.  They never get to leave the Gurukulum so they were happy to have the gift which is essential to any dressy event.  They then redid my saree wrapping, put jewelry on me, and made me look like an Indian princess.  The jasmine and rose was secured in my hair so beautifully.  The wardens and all the children kept telling me I looked like a doll because of my white skin.  If only they all knew just how beautiful their many shades of brown skin is! 

The evening festivities were set to start right after prayer.  We were asked again to give a speech after prayer.  I told said that I was so happy to experience their culture and thanked them for showing me their culture and allowing me to participate in this holiday.  And of course that each and every one of them is beautiful!!!  Jonathan gave such a great speech that it made me get all teary eyed.  He does have a way with words, my boyfriend the writer!

The kids were then set free to blow everything up that could possibly ever be blown up in India!  We all sat down to watch fireworks.  Jonathan and I were given front row seats next to Chandra.  These seats were not all they that great.  Ash and paper on fire kept falling on us and I am pretty sure had any exploded in the case, as does occasionally happen, we would have received many of the flaming shards.  Chandra told me that most of the firecrackers and other things that the children were lighting on fire were all made in factories that are known to have child labor.  She told me that many children wasted their lives in those factories and died very young due to the conditions and exposure to chemicals.  That fact and my fear of being blown up were enough to keep me from partaking.  I just ran around and took pictures of all the joyous children.  (I posted most of these photos on facebook)  After about three hours of crackers and flames the children were exhausted.  They filled their bellies with delicious food and fell fast asleep.  The whole compound was dead quiet by around 9:00 PM!  Children are so beautiful!  I was fast asleep with a fever not much later.

The next morning I left before breakfast.  But before I let I said good-bye to all the children I could find and the wardens that I could find.  I did notice that many children had large burn marks and holes in their brand new uniforms which made me laugh!  I caught a bus filled with some Gurukulum alumni girls who stay at a girl’s home in Dindigual.  They squeezed me in between them and offered me oodles of sweets until they all fell asleep.  What a beautiful weekend it was.  Did I mention that I love India?

Conversations with Durqa

I sometimes wish that I could tape record all the conversations that Laura and I have with Durqa.  Some of them are so simple and beautiful, some leave me laughing so hard I get a stomach ache, and others leave my brain whirling.  One of our most recent conversations was regarding sex.  I have thought for a little while about the appropriateness of including this in my blog but I decided that dialogue regarding sex is a huge step forward in women’s liberation and in developing nations making healthy decisions regarding sexual health practices and healthy family planning decisions. 

As a side note I must mention that Durqa’s marriage is not recognized by the government.  The age difference between her husband and her is too large and the government does not allow marriages with such an age gap.  This however, does not keep a Brahmin from performing the service.  So her wedding is recognized by Hindus but not by the government.

The three of us (Laura, Durqa, and I) were sitting in the kitchen area of our house.  Somehow the conversation was focused on marriage.  She then began talking about ‘the secret’ which from previous conversations we knew was sex.  The individual in me that loves culture started probing.  I asked her how she found out about ‘the secret’ and sadly she told me on her wedding night.  Blown away by this and making sure we didn’t mishear what she had said Laura and I asked her again in several different ways.  She told us that no one ever told her about sex.  It just happened on the night of her wedding.  We asked her if she will tell her son or if her husband will tell her son and she sternly told us that she will not tell her son.  It was unclear who would actually tell her son.  She did tell us that she will tell her son’s wife on the wedding day about sex because she is a good woman. 

This conversation has left me thinking so much.  I got to thinking about how Durqa’s younger life and marriage took place in a village with little to no access to media.  Therefore, she probably did not have access to any media which would have told her about sex previous to her marriage.  Also, women do not talk about sex at all.  It is strictly a marriage secret as Durqa let us know several times.  I was also left feeling like Durqa and I am sure many other women experienced rape.  Maybe that is being culturally biased or insensitive but she had no idea what was going to happen to her and she definitely did not consent to the sex.  I think it is very interesting that her mother did not tell her about sex or what to expect on the night of her marriage.  I am sure that it probably happened to her as well.  Wouldn’t she want to tell her daughter?  Maybe she was afraid Durqa would run away but it does seem like there are many opportunities to discuss sex after the marriage ceremony and before the wedding night.  The conversation ended with Durqa standing up and with a tired face telling us that she does not like sex.  I got up, gave her a hug, and told her she was beautiful.  I don’t think I could endure what Durqa has endured and still smile every day.  

Rainy Day Poncho

Last week we had two Rain Days!  On the second rain day I decided to make Ravanan a poncho.  This is because I gave him one of mine from home but because of his broad shoulders he ripped it all down the side.  He does have to still work in the rain and many nights he has left with that little $.99 poncho and then comes back soaked!

So I gathered all my plastic bags together and designed him a poncho that will hopefully last and keep him super dry.  It is quite ugly but practical.  Durqa came into my room as I was making it and began cracking up uncontrollably.  I then told her it was a gift for Ravanan brother and then she was hysterical.  Durqa wanted to show Jenna so we went to her room with it all on me.  Jenna opened her door to find me looking like a wizard adorned in plastic shopping bags and a laughing Durqa.  Jenna then snapped some shots of me in my beautiful creation.  Then I attempted to take the poncho off but had trouble.  Then I stood in front of Durqa and put my arms up indicating that I needed her to lift it over my head.  But to a woman who wears a saree everyday (a dress that does not go over the head) this non-verbal body language just seemed very odd.  Durqa then just grabbed me around the mid-section and hugged me sooo tight.  It was so cute and I had to hug her back just as hard as we both laughed.

Night came around and Ravanan came over.  Luckily Durqa was there to watch Ravanan receive his gift.  He at first thought it was a joke and refused to accept it.  It was kind of funny and then Durqa explained that I cut it all and tapped all the seams.  He finally took the gift and explained that it would be great at home in his village.

Jenna did make a humorous video of it all and it is posted on my facebook page.

Another great weekend!

Jonathan came this weekend.  It was a relatively low key weekend which was nice.  We both haven’t been in perfect health, especially Jonathan.  On Friday night we met downtown and had dinner out.  It was nice to not have to eat rice and to get to pick out what I wanted to eat!  We even ordered beer to the table – so refreshing!

On Saturday we went to buy a few things at the market for Jonathan since he doesn’t really have a place to buy the necessities.  We then went to a travel agent and book our train tickets to and from North India.  On December 15^th we will leave Chennai and arrive on the 17^th in Varanasi, India.   A very old and holy city known for its ghats on the Ganges where they say devout Hindus go to die.  We will spend one day there to get acclimated to life off a train after two full days on a train!  From Varanasi we will then head up to Nepal and eventually arrive in Kathmandu, Nepal.  From Kathmandu we will then try and get to Pokhara; a smaller city that is known to host “hippies and eccentric Everest trekkers” – according to the Lonely Planet.  Pokhara is supposed to have the best views of the Himalayas.  We don’t have any solid plans for a few days.  We will then head to Kolkata and spend a day or two.  From Kolkata we will head back toward South India.  On the 28^th we will leave Kolkata to arrive In Bangalore on the 30^th.  We then will probably spend a little time there and then catch government buses back toward Jonathan’s site.  All very exciting! 

Once we were finished with our travel agent adventure we headed back to my hostel.  When we arrived Mahindra (Durqa’s son) was waiting in the house with Jenna and Laura.  He made us boiled eggs.  Jonathan and I devoured our eggs.  They were delicious!  We then all left with Durqa to go to Domino’s Pizza.  Mahindra has had Domino’s before but Durqa has never eaten Domino’s.  Jonathan and I got a veggie pizza to share and Jenna and Laura got a cheese to share.  The food came to the table and Durqa looked so disappointed to find out that there was no rice involved.  She took a slice of our veggie pizza and we all waited with anticipation for her to try it and hopefully love it!  She looked so disgusted upon tasting the pizza.  She then declares that we are foreigners and we like pizza but she likes rice.  Haha!  She is so beautiful.  Mahindra, like all teenage boys, devoured slice after slice of both pizzas.  Jonathan, although not a teenage boy, did fill his stomach right up with pizza and then dropped his head on the table due to having a head cold!  Durqa of course thought it was because he was drinking a cold drink in a room with air conditioning. 

Sunday morning we had a nice relaxing time.  We walked around my neighborhood to wait until the shops opened so we could buy milk.  We had bought cereal the day before and we were up early to buy that milk all excited about eating our corn flakes with honey!  Oh my, were they tasty – it’s been ages since I have had cold cereal!  We then headed off to a little mall downtown where Jonathan bought a hot water heater so that he can take warm showers since his water is always icy cold!  And to boil his drinking water, since he has been getting sick so often.  We then had a fresh sweet lime juice and I put Jonathan on a bus! 

I then had lunch at a teacher’s house.  It was nice.  She is a very funny lady.  Many of her husband’s family members live with her so their house was crowded with over joyed people to greet us.  They all can communicate very well in English.  They have a cute little girl who is filled with energy.  They served us delicious food on a banana leaf on the floor of their living room.  It was special and I didn’t feel awkward about it all which was nice.  I guess I am just getting used to people sitting a staring at me while I eat.  They even had a sweet on the banana leaf which was nice and was obviously done special for our coming.  They all then went and ate in the other room.  When they were done we left with the teacher walking us because we insisted on walking home because we had errands to run.  She couldn’t believe that we knew the way back to our hostel.  Indians just don’t walk and don’t get why anyone would walk.  She kept asking us over and over again if we got pain in our legs.  We all three giggled and insisted that we like walking.  Especially, after being forced to eat at least two full cups of white rice!  Her husband and daughter followed us on his motorcycle.  The little two and a half year old kept honking the horn on the motor cycle as she sat between her dad and the handle bars!  It was adorable they would pass us and she would honk.  Then we would walk by them and she would wave frantically at us.  We finally convinced her once we got to the main road that we knew where we were so she left with her family on the motorcycle.  It was cute and sweet.  They left to go dress shopping because there is a huge Hindu holiday coming up this next week.  It was a very beautiful weekend.

Rain Day

This morning I woke up to find out my wind torrential rain.  A cyclone has hit the coast and has brought us a ton of water.  Luckily we are not at the heart of it where all the wind and madness is and luckily it is nothing like Sandy.  The storm however does appear to have just as devastating consequences.
Usually I can hear all the children as they come to school.  I can hear them all talking, giggling, and yelling to each other since my bedroom window is right at the main road to the school.  I can also hear the little chime of their bells on their bikes.  This morning there was no such noise.  Only the noise of constant hard rain could be heard.  The sight outside was just as gloomy.  The sky remained in that state of darkness that is early morning pre-sunrise, little puddles turned into massive bodies of water making some routes along the road unpassable, and beautiful Indians walked by swaddled up and with umbrellas held close.  I called Ravanan he told me that school was cancelled, "school leave, rain day".  Laura and her parents were here.  It was so nice to meet them.  They offered to take us all to lunch.  And who can pass up a meal out?  Not any sane person who eats rice at least two meals a day and maybe three meals a day!
We got in a call taxi and were soon outside of the Periyar compound.  The sight I first saw devastated me.  I immediately felt like bursting into tears, however, being in a car with several people I refrained from doing so.  The thatch village or "slum" as local people call it was over flowing with water.  It sits right across the street from the complex and is where most all of my students live.  It sits on a piece of land that is already surrounded by marsh and is at a lower level than the surrounding land.  The constant rain has totally submerged this little area.  I saw people walking in knee deep water and houses submerged in water.  In anthropology I remember reading about how the poorest of the poor in developing nations are always the first impacted by weather/environmental changes.  This obviously being due to how land is developed.  Nicer land is always for the well off while the areas near rivers that frequently flood, the coastal areas that see many harmful storms, low lying land, and land stripped of natural resources is often left aside for the poor to settle.  This is clearly the case in my neighborhood.  It made me so sad to think of my poor students at home with probably no place warm and dry to go, yet a few blocks down the road is a well to do neighborhood with families who are probably warm and dry, with full bellies, who are oblivious to the tragedy that is happening in their neighborhood.  I have come to love my students no matter how naughty they can be at times.  I cannot even imagine the struggles and challenges they must be facing right now.  I don't know if I will ever come to understand how such inequalities can exist in our world with enough resources for all.

Daily pleasures of life

Sometimes we forget the simple daily pleasures that make our life so beautiful, so, I decided to enlighten those who don't live in India with what the simple pleasures of my life look like!

Daily Durqa comes and visits me.  Most days in the week she brings me a sweet because she knows that I love sweets.

Several times throughout the day I can hear the call to prayer.

Walking to school daily I walk past the watchman who everyday stands up and attempts a greeting with me and then asks me in Tamil if I ate and what it is that I ate.

In the afternoon I get to drink tea which Ravanan brings.

These are just a few of the little things that make my life in India beautiful.

School, reading, movies, a holiday, and "cold weather"

I feel like I have really gotten into a routine at my school these days.  I have learned to deal with the chaotic environment and really dedicate myself to the teaching moments that I am given, whenever they may arise.  I realized the other day that my students really have progressed in their ability to communicate.  On my first visit most of the children did not know much more than a simple greeting.  Now my children can tell you about themselves and inquire about you!  For the past few days I have been reading my children stories as a kind of easy activity.  This term is extra short and they are often left alone in their classrooms to plow through loads of work so I try and make their time with me a little more relaxing and fun.  The books that I have been reading are in English and Tamil.  I let a few of them take turns reading the Tamil to the class while I read the English.  You can tell most of them have never been read to.  They now beg me daily to read to them.  Maybe I can get my hands on some simple English children's books and read those to them.

I have been reading several books lately.  There is this Indian author who writes books about Indian youth and their lives and struggles.  Just my style!  His name is Chetan Bhagat.  One book in particular really intrigued me because it offers a perspective on Tamil Nadu from an Indian from North India.  The racism toward Tamils in the book is interesting and reminded me of racism in the South of the U.S.  The title is:  2 States:  The story of my marriage.  After I finished reading all his books I took up a rather serious book which is probably one of the best books I have read in quite a long time.  The book is set in Calcutta (now Kolkata) in the 1970's-1980's.  It tells two stories which alternate between chapters.  One of the stories is about a human rickshaw puller the other about a Polish priest.  Although based on the background of the book which I read about online there is a third character who will be entering the story soon!  Although I am not in Kolkata, I can still draw many similarities to where I live and where Jonathan lives.  This book is titled: City of Joy.

This past weekend we had a long weekend due to two holidays this week.  I went to stay with Jonathan which was nice.  It is nice to experience different living situations only to realize how fantastic your own is!  Jonathan's site is much better than mine.  The school is orderly and the structure and treatment of the children at the orphanage at his site is of much higher quality.  However, my living arrangements really surpass his.  Anyways, we went to see two movies this weekend in Coimbatore.  It was nice to be in such a western style place.  And it was so much fun watching movies!  We saw Taken 2 and Premium Rush.  Both were great movies.  Jonathan and I got the opportunity to go for a few walks around the fields at his site.  The fields have really turned from many shades of beautiful browns to vibrant shades of green.  It looks breath taking and a sight that I never want to forget with all the water buffalo wandering slowly through the fields and the old men in their longhis standing in their fields.  One of the days that I was at Jonathan's site was a holiday.  It was interesting seeing how much Hinduism is drilled into these children and how strongly holidays are observed.  But then again I do live on an atheist compound.  The holiday was basically a holiday devoted toward cleaning spaces, decorating them, and blessing them.  Which was perfect since Jonathan and I spent the morning cleaning his room not knowing of the holiday.  But around 4:00pm the children all gathered in the prayer hall and began chanting.  This chanting lasted for about 1.5 hours.  During this time some of the older girls and workers gave gifts to the Gods and decorated the sanctum with flowers, a yellow paste, and red paste.  Also, during this time all the children were given beautiful dots of yellow, red, and gray on their foreheads.  Of course all the children wanted to give Jonathan and I our dots so I had several layers of yellow, red, and gray on my forehead.  Once the children were directed to stop chanting they all then rushed toward the sanctum and they prayed to the Gods.  Then a staff member went in and came out with the gifts from the Gods.  Then all the children and staff shared in the gifts from the Gods.  The gifts were puffed rice and roasted chickpeas.  I sat on the floor with the boys and enjoyed my snack.  It was humorous because some of the children were folding their shirts and filling that area like a sort of pouch.  Well, the older boys that I was sitting with kept pointing and saying, "bad habit", as they ate their snacks off sheets of paper.  It was funny.  There was also a touching moment that nearly brought tears to my eyes.  There is a very young boy who has a development delay.  He came to sit near me and the older boys.  He somehow did not get any snacks and was eating puffed rice off the ground.  I had eaten my snacks already and called Jonathan over to give him his snacks.  He took them with a smile on his face from Jonathan, who he absolutely adores.  Then Jonathan walked away.  The young boy finished the snacks as there was not much because Jonathan was almost finished.  An older boy who idolizes Jonathan then gave him the remainder of his snacks.  It was so sweet and really shows the impact that Jonathan has on his students.  Mentally ill and developmentally delayed people do not always get treated with dignity in India.  But I think that Jonathan is slowly changing the attitudes of the children at the Gurukulum by showing patience and compassion toward the children with developmental delays.  On another random side note about this holiday, all the cars, lorries, buses, autos, and scooters were decorated with yellow and red paste, and banana leaves.  Jonathan watched the function that took place around the vehicles.  Maybe he will write about it in his blog soon!

Now onto a funny topic!  Last Friday was the first day of all day rain.  The rainy season has started!  I arrived at school only to find nearly all my children dressed in knit sweaters and hats!!!  I could not believe my eyes.  The weather had to be between 75 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit.  I was laughing so hard I broke a sweat!  I could truly not believe my eyes.  I wish I had brought my camera to school to capture this sight!  I asked one of the older girls if she was cold, she looked at me like I was crazy and responded very eagerly, " Yes Miss!"

The past few days

I have been so unmotivated to write about vacation, perhaps because it was so perfect and beautiful - it almost seems unreal!
So I will just tell you this about my vacation:
Jonathan and I had so much fun!  We spent a few days at Jonathan's placement.  It was fun.  His children are very lovely and are in a highly structured educational setting.  Their dedication is due largely to the dedication that the teachers give to them.  It was nice to see since the environment where I work lacks any structure and dedication from teachers.  During this time we also got to visit Chandra at her house and her parents farm.  Her house is very nice.  She has a little garden area out in the back where several different fruits and vegetables grow.  Her family's farm was also beautiful.  The land and the house are so quiet and the pace of life is much different from the dirty shuffle of Trichy.  Chandra's cooking is also very impressive.  I wish my hostel workers cooked like her!!  We stayed over one night in Coimbatore, the third largest city in Tamil Nadu.  We drank a cup of filter coffee, had some beer, and slept a full night in ac!  We then moved on to Kerala, which was an adventure all on its own.  I recommend you read Jonathan's blog about the pleasant bus ride to Kerala.  The views were beautiful and it was interesting to zoom in and out of all these small cities and towns.  We spent the a few days in Kerala where it was cool and had power full time!  It was absolutely delightful.  Jonathan and I drank masala tea, ate Italian food, ate eggs and toast, watched nature, and relaxed.  It truly was the perfect little getaway.  We visited a tea plantation and a spice garden.  They were both absolutely breath taking!

I have come back and started to get back in the swing of things here in Trichy.  I felt so refreshed to be back at school.  It was obvious upon arriving back at school that my teachers did not have the same refreshed attitude.  Most of my children were beaten the first few days back because they did not make marks.  Meaning they did not pass the quarterly exams.  This was extremely difficult for me besides for the obvious reasons.  The teachers at my school do not teach and are not in the classroom the majority of the time.  To me it is quite obvious that the children did not pass their quarterly marks because of the lack of instruction from the teachers.  This however, was not an idea which crossed the mind of the headmistress as she beat all the kids that did not pass.  Government schools in Tamil Nadu have a lot of progress to make.  Tamil Nadu definitely needs more teachers like those at Jonathan's school.

Yesterday, I spent my whole afternoon with Durqa.  It was her birthday.  She brought Laura and I chicken gravy and an egg to eat with rice.  It was so delicious!  I gave her a new saree for her birthday.  She seemed to really like the colors and material.  I just wish that I could fully describe how beautiful Durqa is.  Durqa and I then walked to the principal of the Pharmacy College's house.  Durqa does some work there to make a little extra money.  She has talked about us to the principal and she wanted to meet us so I went with her, just her and I walking there was nice.  We ran into some of my students on the way.  They always get shy when they see me outside of class and forget all English that I have taught them.  But Durqa yelled at them to say hello to me in Tamil.  It was very funny and cute.  She pinched their cheeks and we moved on.  We got to the principals house and I visited with her daughter while I waited for her to come home.  Durqa got to her cleaning.  The principal and her other daughter came home and visited with me.  I had so much fun.  They all speak English very well and are very nice.  Durqa finished cleaning and joined us.  We then all had a piece of cake and some snacks for Durqa's birthday.  We all four sat talking for about two hours.  It was a great evening.  Durqa and I then walked home in the dark.  She held my hand nearly the whole way.  I love her and what she adds to my life.

Today I went to visit Athiya.  She is another woman whom I have become friends with.  Today she made me biriyani with chicken gravy and onion with curd.  It was soooo good.  Except for the fact that she made me eat what felt like 1 kilo of rice.  I sat eating in her hair salon with her two friends and Jenna.  It was so nice.  She then insisted, after I ate more rice than I ate in the past decade, that we eat sweets to help cool the spice feeling in our mouths.  It was a fun time.  Tomorrow her and I are going shopping on her scooty.  I am looking forward to it.

Periyar Birthday

Periyar is the man who started the complex in which I live in.  He was an activist in Southern India, mainly Tamil Nadu, who was an atheist.  His rational was that religion caused too many problems and that religion was the force behind the caste system.  He believed that in order to rid India of the caste system they must leave religion behind.  I am in the process of reading a book titled, Periyar on Feminism, so I will inform you of that when I know more.  I think Periyar was pretty cool, he respected all these religions but made a point to say that most of the conflict in his country was based on religion and he tried to call this to the attention of his fellow citizens.
So, on his birthday along with all the children from each and every school on the complex as well as the two colleges we all went down to Trichy Junction where Periyar's statue stands.  The crowd gathered around him and several men wearing black shirts raised a flag while chanting praises in his name.  After that several people or groups of people with some prestige in the organization went up to put flowers around the statue.  During this time, Sylvie, a woman who works at the orphanage and was herself an orphane there, stood up and began yelling praises to Periyar.  All the students and children were chanting back to her.  It was actually quite beautiful.  Of course we were asked to put flowers around Periyar's statue being that we are their special guests.  We then rode home in a bus with a bunch of pharmacy college girls and they chanted most of the way back to the complex.  It was a very nice day.  Jonathan took a very great picture of Sylvie while she was standing up and chanting.

Here is the link from all my pictures from vacation:  I will blog about our vacation a little later!  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Holiday%20in%20Kerala/

1000 Year old Temple

Jonathan came for the weekend and we had a splendid adventure.  On Saturday we went to Thanjavur which is about an hour bus ride from Trichy.  We arrived in Thanjavur and it seemed like a very small town.  We hopped in an auto and went to Big Temple.  We soon realized that Thanjavur is in fact a rather large city.  The temple was massive, beautiful, and free!  The temple is a World Heritage site and is open to the public.  We wondered around the complex slowly discussing the beauty of the temple, history, and religion.  It was really amazing standing in this temple complex knowing that it was 1000 years old.

Dinner at Durqa's

I originally wrote this as a letter to Lois but due to vacationing and not bringing my letter along to send I will put it here for all to read because truly it is an important issue that I face everyday.  I wrote this letter to Lois because of all the beautiful women in my life she is the strongest advocate of feminism in my life.

Lois,

Today was a beautiful day.  Jonathan came this weekend.  On Saturday we went to see some cave paintings and an ancient temple which was carved into a hillside.  It was very cool.  Today we went to Durqa’s house for lunch.  Durqa works at the complex where I teach.  She cleans all the hostels all by herself.  She comes by our hostel all the time to relax and hangout with us.  I have really come to care for her and enjoy her company.

I never truly identified myself as a feminist.  I studied feminism in my gender studies course my junior year of college.  I loved learning about it and quickly became thankful for countless women who fought hard for me to be in that very seat in that classroom.  All during that time I never thought of myself as a feminist – even as I read sociology/anthropology texts about women suffering due to unequal treatment, social construction, or cultural gender roles.  I always was digging into the texts with a non-judgmental view point that my professors demanded of us, however, feminism was lurking in the back of my brain.  The authors I read, many were feminists but never made it the focus of their work but sure did make a point of mentioning it.  I guess for me ethnic/racial discrimination has always been of more importance.

Now here I am in India and I want to be a feminist.  It’s all I can think about sometimes.  I want to reinvest myself in gender studies.  I can sit for hours on my bed just analyzing male and female roles which I observe on a daily bases.

Back to Durqa and why I want to be a feminist.  Durqa is married to her uncle.  She is 35, her husband 60 years old.  He was previously married and his wife died.  Durqa was of marrying age and was married off to him, her uncle, at the age of 19.  Within a year of marriage she had her son.  Her husband already had a son from his first marriage so this made it a house with one husband and two sons to care for all by the age of 20.  Durqa’s husband drinks alcohol and no longer works, worst of all he is abusive to Durqa.  But to her it is not all that uncommon.  She was just dealt a bad husband and in order to be a good woman she must ‘adapt to the man’.  If she cannot ‘adapt to the man’ then she is a bad Indian woman.  This I have heard from several Indian women when talking about marriage.  This idea is upheld by women themselves-this is where sociology comes in and blows my mind.  Other women actually look down on other women who cannot ‘adapt’ and leave their husbands by running away or going back to their parents house.  They actually believe that these women are not good women.

We went over to Durqa’s house for dinner.  Her neighborhood is beautiful and obviously stricken by poverty.  The streets were lined with people sleeping on cots, people bathing, people doing wash and dishes, and people cooking – all this happening outside on the streets.  Kids ran around playing games.  Durqa instantly became a celebrity as she walked through the narrow streets with us.  People yelled her name and asked if we were her guests.  She shrugged like it was no big deal!  All the young girls followed us as Durqa led us upstairs to her apartment.  It is a small one room apartment with a wall dividing the kitchen, which is half the house, from the sleeping area which is where we sat while she bustled away in the kitchen.  Durqa got us settled with drinks and cookies which I brought for her as a treat.   Little girls stood in the doorway and peered in at us curious about these white people in their neighborhood.  Durqa addressed them endearingly and instructed them how to greet us in English as she continued to cook.  I got up and went to see her kitchen.  With pride she answered my questions about what all the strange tools were.  Her son soon returned and helped her get things ready to eat.  Her husband returned to the house shortly after and took a seat near us but did not really talk to us.  Durqa came in shortly thereafter and introduced us.  She returned to the kitchen and within 10 minutes came with plates overloaded with rice and delicious sauces.  We all inhaled our food with delight.  Her cooking skills are very impressive.  She made us chicken biriyani with raitha, a savory sauce, and an egg on the side.  After we finished her son took our plates away and Durqa helped us to wash our hands in a small bowl on the kitchen floor.  She then prepared a plate of food for her husband and got him settled with his food.  She then came out with her plate and sat on the floor, I jumped up to offer her my place and quickly sat on the ground to indicate that I did not need to sit in the seat.  She refused me with a very serious face and her son quickly said to me that it is a sign of respect that his mother sits on the floor.  Her husband then looked at me with a stern face and motioned to the wedding chain, indicating that because of marriage she must sit there on the floor while he sits in his chair looking down at her.  He also made it clear that I needed to get up off the floor because I was being disrespectful.  I wanted to cry so hard.  I wanted to run across the room and scream at him and pick her up and make her sit where I sat seconds ago.  I looked at Jonathan and thankfully for Jonathan’s soft knowing gaze I stood up without crying and placed myself back in the chair.  I just sat there admiring Durqa—admiring her for all her strength, admiring her for working 6 days a week for 12 hours a day and still always carrying a smile on her face.  Over and over in my head I was searching for a reason as to why such an injustice could happen to her merely because she was born a woman in this absolutely beautiful country. 

I am scared , angry, and sad.  I am scared that thousands of women around the world will never know what it feels like to be free.  I feel sad that Durqa will never be in charge of her own destiny.  I am angry that we let these injustices continue.  I sit here with all these feelings consuming me and I am at a loss at what to do.  I sit here with this fire in my bones wanting to jump into action and educate these women and men on what gender equality could look like.  Lois, I admire you as a feminist and I admire that you are so passionate about gender equality.  You invest yourself in creating a community with gender equality and I think that is admirable and beautiful.

Love Kylie

My great saree adventure!

As I continue my saree challenge today with 10 days already gone I have come to have many different thoughts on the saree.  I would like to first point out that the saree is such a beautiful dress.  It can be worn many different ways, comes in such vibrant and beautiful colors, and the blouses and way in which the saree is tied does accentuate the female body in such a nice manner drawing attention to the natural pear shape of the female figure.  Some information that I have acquired through other women and sometimes men during my days of saree wearing:

1.        Sarees are traditionally worn daily after marriage.  Married women can wear a chudi on weekends or when doing something active like yoga.  At home a nighty can be worn as well.  A nighty is a long simple dress typically made of cotton.

2.       The material of your saree is an indicator of your status.  Although this is never directly said it is implied and easily observed. 

3.       As a white woman wearing a saree, Indian men will actually respect you and not think degrading thoughts about you.  I came to this piece of information by an Indian man at the local hotel bar.

4.       It is rather hard to move quickly in a saree.  I came to this piece of information by walking with many Indian women in sarees and through my personal experience.  To add a bit to this, it is so hard for me to tell if it is just a cultural thing because both men and women in India move very slowly.  Traditional men wear is also hard to move quickly in so I am not sure if they are related or perhaps just a coincidence.

5.       The showing of stomach and upper back is okay.  Coming from a culture where we rarely show our midriff on a daily bases I am rather self conscious of my stomach showing.  I struggle to wrap my saree so that it does not show any of my stomach.  I asked Chandra and Durqa about the stomach and both answered with saying that it is personal preference.  However, I have noticed that older women do show a great deal of their stomach while if they wrap me up they do not reveal an inch of mine.  So I am not sure if there is some unwritten rule that if you are younger you must show less or maybe it has to do with me being unmarried and that dictates how much I can show. 

6.       I could have a whole different section for blouses but here is the abbreviated version.  Jonathan pointed it out to me that elderly women do not wear any blouses and I have found through my own observations that this is more common in the village areas than in the city area where I live.  Blouses can be sewn by nearly any women in Southern India.  I have only had two different women sew me a blouse but the general rule to blouses is that they need to be tight.  They need to be tight around the rib cage, neck line, and the arms.  I am not sure where this idea came from but I know that it makes the blouse, which is actually a very attractive piece of clothing, immensely uncomfortable.  I have convinced both women that I require loose clothing and therefore have a blouse which is much more comfortable than the average Southern Indian women wears.  There are also many ways to express your individuality through your blouse.  There are a number of different ways to get the back neckline shaped.  Lastly, the shape of the breast area can also be chosen.  You can have anything from a Madonna cone shape to a soft round look.

Now back to my original point:  After several days of vacationing and wearing other clothes I have come to realize how restrictive the saree is as I put it on.  It interests me because I love cultural and I am all for maintaining cultural traditions and perhaps I would feel differently if all women made the conscious decision to wear sarees and were not forced by the institution of marriage.  I couldn’t help but think that the sarees were a tool of keeping “women in their place”, a term I have heard used by an Indian man several times.  This is not to say that many women don’t love wearing the saree-of course many women love wearing the saree because it is a huge part of their cultural identity, especially as a Tamilian.  I often think that many women are not given the luxury to contemplate their situation and therefore have never thought about their daily ritual of putting on a saree and if asked about their wearing a saree they would tell you that they began wearing a saree daily when they were married.  Now, all that being said, I have seen many educated women who wear sarees with pride, which makes me happy and is why I continue to wear my sarees.  These educated women have taken back what is theirs and do not wear them because their husbands tell them to – they wear them because they choose to, because it is their cultural tradition and because it is a beautiful dress.  So I stand with these women in honoring their culture and I put on my saree.  This however does not keep my brain from swimming with thoughts questioning feminism and the role that sarees play in it.  

Saree Adventure Day 3 and 4

Day 3 of my saree challenge was much more successful.  I had many pleats in the front and it looked very well done.  The teachers congratulated me for a job well done but of course had to tidy it up a little since it was Teacher's Day here in India.  Thankfully I wore a fancy saree for the days events!  Upon arriving at school I was bombarded with children trying to shake my hands and congratulate me for being a teacher.  It was very sweet.  I was also given several pens as gifts.  The first two were actual planned gifts the others were just starting to give me their pens, which made me sad and happy all at the same time.  They really do appreciate me but most of them don't have pens to begin with so it was hard to balance being thankful and trying to refuse gifts.  One girl from my 3rd standard classroom gave me earrings.  She even had them in a little box all wrapped up.  Her dad was there as well to give me the gift.  It was super sweet.  They are these little gold hoops.  They were instantly shoved into my ears by several over excited little fingers!  I was not allowed to teach my first class.  I tried to do my lessons with my regular few who enlist in English lessons and they refused.  I was then shoved into the teachers chair and anytime I attempted to get up, "No ma'am no!!"  It was really cute.

In my next class I was allowed to teach and in fact it was the first time in several weeks that the whole class was actually in the room let alone sitting in their seats!!!  However, some girls in the front row were super chatty and giggly.  Finally they got up and started to put their chains around my neck saying they were all gifts.  I had to turn them all away.  It was really cute and I hated to break their hearts, especially when they all walked away bummed!  It was a lovely day at school!

Today is day 4 and I am pretty proud of my saree wrapping!  I have several pleats lined up very well, the front across my chest looks neat and pretty!!  I will have to let you know how it goes today!!!

Saree Adventure Day 2!

Today I wore the saree that Chandra (Jonathan's headmistress) gave to me.  I did a much better job at wrapping myself in it!  I even had some pleats in the front.  Ravanan instantly said, "Super!" when I walked out of my room!

When I got to school the headmistress and another teacher pulled me into the office and fixed me all up.  They made the most beautiful pleats and helped display the beautiful design on the saree across my chest.  It look absolutely beautiful!

I also went to visit the tailor who then decided that she needed to wrap the saree differently.  She made it look more like a fancy saree rather than an everyday wear saree.  I notice as I wear the sarees that women and men look at me differently.  Women will approach me and ask if I put it on myself and sort of congratulate me for wearing it.  I am liking wearing the sarees to school.

Today I also received two packages in the mail.  It was delightful!

My school has started to make some transformations for the better which is good.  Someone from the government office came to visit and made some rearrangements which seemed to have made the learning environment a little different, mostly for the better.  Jenna also went and talked to my teacher about how my classes have not really been running due to behaviors and no teachers being in the classrooms except for me.  They all instantly went to their classroom and the teacher of the class that I was in offered to help when she came in.  I am excited to finally have the attention of the class and the support of the teachers.  

Saree Wearing Day 1

Day 1 of wearing a saree was successful!!  I started my morning off by coming out of my room half dressed trying to figure out the very intricate pleats in the front.  It is so hard.  Ravanan thankfully helped out a little.  I finally got it secure and headed to school.  The responses were humorous.  All my students screamed with joy as I approached the school.  I even got a "beautiful" from one of my students who never engages in class and always avoids me!!!  It was sweet.

Upon arriving at school my headmistress instantly beckoned me into her office and attempted to straighten out my pleats a little and then repeated several times that I did a super job!  The teachers fed me praises all day every time I saw them.

A few of my 5th standard students pulled me aside and tried to straighten out my pleats.  It was cute.  I had three of them fussing about my saree.

I did forget to take a picture but I will be sure to take pictures in the future!

Updates

My apologies for not updating my blog!  I have been a little unmotivated due to the lack of success of my students.  This lack of motivation has slowly seeped into many other areas of my life other than my work life.

My school assignment has been a huge challenge for me.  My school has lost all structure.  Some days there are only one of two teachers in the whole building and they are sitting in a classroom just talking, eating, and doing other things which I can't figure out.  The students just run around like kids would unattended.  They play, sing, dance, run around, jump off things, and fight (my ECA skills came in handy one day as one boy had another boy in a headlock).  Which I must say was a great moment when all the boys started yelling, "fighting Miss, they fight Miss" and when I separated the two all the boys looked at me in awe.  I think that they were just surprised I could actually pry the one off the other and that I didn't hit them for it but made them take a loooong time-out from playing and work on English together.  So that is what my lessons have come down to:  grabbing students as they play or run around and force them to work on their English for at least 10 minutes.  It is chaotic but at this point it is all that I can do.  It makes me sad and disappointed.  It makes me sad that the students aren't getting the education that they deserve from me and from their classroom teachers.  It makes me wonder why these teachers are not dedicating themselves to their education.  It makes me question the effectiveness of the government schools at rising above the caste system.

Last weekend I went to visit Jonathan.  It was super nice.  We had a relaxing Saturday visiting his children and then just walking around his town.  We bought a few presents for ourselves and a few for others.  It was nice.  On Sunday we went to Kerala which is another state to the west.  It was amazingly beautiful.  We went to an Ashram to watch some of his children perform yoga and be honored for their skills.  We went their in a car with all the girls on one side in the back seat and then Jonathan and I smushed on the other side.  One of his male students was sitting in the front seat with the Secretary.  It was such an interesting and beautiful trip.  The girls were amazing at yoga.  The bent their little bodies in ways I didn't quite know were possible.  We saw beautiful rice paddies and other green natural areas.  Lots of rivers were along the road on the way.  On the way home we stopped at a dam.  It took my breath away!  The mountains were massive and green.  They were simply amazing.  I hope Jonathan and I get to go back to that area.

This past weekend we celebrated Laura's birthday by going to the 5 star hotel in town and getting a cold beer to celebrate her birthday.  It was fun.  Derka dressed us in sarees and then she even came with us to eat dinner out.  It was nice that she got to do that with us.  The cold beer was everything I remembered it as!!!

I am starting a little challenge with myself:  For the next 30 school days I will only wear sarees to school!  It will be interesting to see how the students react when I show up this morning.  And how my headmistress reacts since I look like a mess!  It is so hard to wrap them but hopefully by the end of the 30 days I will be a little better at the process.  Ravanan even helped me this morning because I was seriously struggling to get the pleats in the front!!

Rosy and Jenna's Birthday Surprise!

The other day on our way to the fruit store we witnessed this man picking up a baby dog by its front two paws and he was about to throw it or so it looked like he was.  I took the dog from him and my intentions were to put it down a little ways away from the men it was previously near.  I carried it and the whole time it just sat there barely filling my two hands.  It was so little and so precious and it looked like it needed a break from the hectic streets.  The dog looked like it was about to sleep several time.  I set it down near the fruit store and sure enough it stayed around that area and eventually came up to the front of the fruit market.  I carried it away because it was apparent that people there did not like it being outside their market.  I told myself I would just put it down in the back neighborhood away from the main road where it was a little quieter.  Somehow, my body just kept walking though and it walked right into the house.  I then told myself that we would just give it a little rest, love, food, and water and send it on its way.  Then Ravanan saw the dog and got all giggly.  Then by a quick inspection from Ravanan it was determined that it was a girl and needed a name.  Ravanan decided Rosy would be a good name.  So, now we have a little dog in our house and Ravanan takes care of her more than we do.  Something tells me he must have wanted a dog for a long time.  He feeds her before he gets our food, he made a bed for her, she falls asleep under his bed, and she trails him constantly.  He seems like he really likes her company.

Oh Ravanan!  Today is Jenna's birthday.  Yesterday she got dressed is a saree and went over to the children's home to give out candy.  Ravanan came back from his day trip for work and remarked that Jenna looked, "Super" in her saree and with her hair done.  She informed him that it was her birthday tomorrow and then she gave him some candy as well.  Ravanan approached me not too much later and asked me write down Jenna's name and the date.  Then he made all these sweet gestures which basically translated out to:  Midnight, knock-knock, Jenna wiping her eyes, cakes, happy birthday!!!  So about an hour later he comes into the bedroom where Laura and I are sitting on our beds and he is excitedly holding a cake!  He puts it down and reminds me of the plan.  I am still not sure if he is serious because he is just too giggly.  A little after dinner time he comes in and walks behind me and slyly slips a candle onto my computer without Jenna noticing.  He is so beautiful and sweet.  Jenna goes to bed and Ravanan once again reminds us of the plan.  He set up the cake on the coffee table with a table cloth and all.  He lit the candles turned out all the lights and motioned for us to go and get her.  We scared her half to death probably and then we covered her eyes and walked her to the living room where Ravanan jumped out from behind the curtains which lead to the dinning room and we sang Happy Birthday to her.  Side note:  Ravanan loves taking pictures so he of course was in control of the camera.  He staged each scene perfectly too.  We had to have a shot of Jenna blowing out the candle, even though it meant reenacting the whole thing again.  We also had to have a picture of her cutting the cake and her first bite!  It was so sweet and cute of him.  He obviously put a lot of thought into the moment.

Here are the pictures of Rosy and Jenna's Birthday.  All pictures taken by Ravanan:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Rosy%20and%20a%20Birthday%20Surprise/

Indian Independence Day

August 15th is Indian Independence Day.  This year it was the 66th year of independence.  I celebrated my independence day by going to my school where there was going to be a little ceremony.  I got there and all the kids were lined up and half the ceremony had already been completed.  The headmistress said 9 AM.  I arrived by my clock at 9:03 AM.  I guess they were either very efficient or perhaps the ceremony started at an earlier time.  I was bummed I didn't get to see the flag raised.  Some of the kids were dressed in their uniforms, others were dressed in plain clothes, and then there were some that were dressed up in beautiful outfits and even had on elaborate jewelry and make-up.  It was very cute.  I did get to see all the students and their siblings receive their sweets from the headmistress which was cute.  I could of course not say no to some sweets.  I took some pictures of the kids after and then headed off to watch Laura's school's performance which included a few dance routines!!

Pictures from the day:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Independence%20Day/

New uniforms

On Monday I arrived at school to see about half of my children in burgundy skirts/shorts with a pale pink top.  The pleats of the skirts so fresh, the shorts all buttoned and zipped up properly, and the shirts with each button still intact - they were such a beautiful sight.  And my how proud they were of their new uniforms.  The government issued new uniforms.  I am guessing with the timing it must have been for Independence day.  Did I mention already that they are all so beautiful?

Viralimalai, India

Last weekend Laura and I went to visit Murugan Temple in Viralimalai, India.  It was a nice short little bus ride from Trichy.  The town was not that exciting despite what the many Tamil Nadu travel websites told me.  The town was very small, seemed industrious, and had some fruit vendors.  We walked around the whole town in about 20 minutes.  Of course people watching is always pleasing.  We went up to the temple which according to some websites offers and abundance of peacocks meandering about or dancing around in search for the perfect mate.

We climbed the stairs up to the temple and spotted our first peacock (and our only) it was absolutely the most beautiful bird creature I have ever seen.  The colors were so vibrant and the slow elegant movements of the peacock are something almost from a story book.  Well, enough about the peacock because about a minute later this little monkey comes storming down the stairs and sits down near the people gathered to watch the majestic peacock.  Instantly, I became infatuated with this dear little monkey.  It is so strange to watch a monkey.  Their mannerisms truly are so similar to humans - it made me laugh aloud several times.  This little man was not alone.  Soon several beautiful little monkeys were climbing about everywhere.  We finally moved on to proceed to the temple.  It was nothing to spectacular but definitely a nice excuse to get out of Trichy and the dirty city air for a little while.  We saw many more monkeys once we got to the top.  Some of them even come quite close to you which made me excited but nervous all at the same time.

We did realize, as two women going into a more rural area, that men are not shunned as much for their negative behavior toward women compared to in the city where there are many eyes watching.  Several times men would makes remarks at us and a few men even followed us around.  It seemed like socially constructed values of how men should interact with women who are strangers did not apply in this area.

We ended our journey home by accidentally taking the bus to Trichy which was not the express bus so we got to stop in every small town along the 30km trek back home.  It was nice because we got to see many school children hop on and hop off.

Here are the pictures from the temple:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Murugan%20Temple%20Viralimalai/

Being a tourist

Jonathan came to visit this weekend.  We had fun exploring some of the more popular spots around town.  On Saturday, along with my roommate Laura, we caught a bus headed downtown.  We finally figured out how to ride the local buses.  It was much easier than I had imagined and it was nice to have Jonathan around since he is a little more experienced at riding the local buses.  We then changed buses so that we were on a bus headed toward Srirangam Temple.  Srirangam Temple is very famous and attracts many Hindus on pilgrimage and many tourists.  We first had to walk through this very long market which was very interesting. You can truly buy just about anything in these markets:  cheap plastic toys, incense, offerings for the temple, clothes, food, household items, etc.  We finally made it to the temple and paid for a special rooftop viewing of the area.  This man walked us up to the roof and we got a spectacular view of the surrounding area.  You could see the whole complex that was the temple.  The view was beautiful.  This man then offered us a tour of the whole complex.  He explained that the Brahmin maffia would try and bother us if we went in without a tour guide and also he would give us the history behind everything.  We agreed to take his tour as it was a mere $6 (USD) for a complete tour!  Once inside he introduced himself to us.  He informed us that his name is too complicated to pronounce so people just call him Bruce Lee.  Bruce Lee told us that he is a local college student studying history and geography and works at the temple as a part time job.  He was very knowledgeable about the temple, his country, his religion, other religions, and other countries as well.  He also added some humor along the way.  He is an amazing tour guide and very intelligent, making our temple experience very lovely.  I have attached a link below of pictures from the temple.

Once we got out of the temple area we put our shoes back on and conveniently, after our long walk in the hot sun with bare feet on hot stone, there was a juice stand.  We each got some fresh juice which was delicious.  I got pineapple, Jonathan got sweet lime juice, and Laura got orange juice.  We gulped those down pretty quickly.  After the temple experience we were all kind of exhausted so we caught a bus headed for K.K. Nagar (which is where I live) and ate lunch back home.  After lunch Jonathan and I headed out for some tea at a local restaurant and then we walked to a local ice cream store that is very modern.  The ice cream was delicious and it was nice to have something cold to eat.

Jonathan and I then decided to check out the local science museum and planetarium.  It was very interesting. We arrived and there was a school group there and many men standing outside ready to shepherd us through the museum.  We could not even read the signs in the beginning they were beckoning us to come in immediately.  We paid and then once again attempted to read some of the displays but were pushed into this room with a theater.  We were then given 3D glasses.  We watched this very bizarre show, I am still not sure what it had to do with science or what it was really about - and it was in English!  There was this bunny hopping around looking for something through this maze.  I am still not sure if he actually found what he was looking for.  Then the next mini show was this mad scientist magician.  It was weird.  The show ended and we then attempted to read some more displays but we were being shown that we should enter the planetarium.  It was kind of sad and interesting all at the same time.  The equipment was obviously very modern and high tech but the seating was so old and kind of scary.  I didn't really want to sit in any of the chairs because they looked like they would break or I would get stuck with a metal spring.  Jonathan and I finally got settled in the back row and next thing we know the whole school group comes filing in the room.  The show was actually very nice despite the fact that it was in Tamil.  The website had clearly mixed up the Tamil times with the English times based on the flyer they gave us as we were leaving.  We then got to finally look at the displays, the experience science center (which was sad, rundown, and very outdated), and the environmental science center.  Since we were a full 2km away from Trichy, it was very nice because all around the museum was just beautiful fields.  We both appreciated looking out at them.  We then got to play on a science playground.  It featured many activities which let you see and experience science in action.  We enjoyed ourselves on the playground for quite some time.

We left the Anna Science Center and started walking on the road back toward K.K. Nagar.  Right outside the science center grounds there was a temple which had many people outside of it.  It was very interesting looking and quite different from other ones we have seen.  We also observed a few families where it looked like they were living out of a van.  They had their little camp set up on the side of the road.  The young kids waved at us and the young women smiled at us.  We finally caught an auto back to the house to call it a night!

Sunday morning we were able to see some of the local kids and girls from the Children's Home participate in Tae Kwon Do.  I also was able to show Jonathan my school building.  We ate some curd rice and headed on our way to our next adventure!  Today we had decided on seeing the Gandhi Market.  We rode the bus to the city center and had some tea at a little shop.  Then we caught another bus to the market.  We wandered around for quite some time just exploring streets which we thought could be the market or could lead us to the market.  Jonathan bought some jackfruit from a street vendor.  Finally, Jonathan pointed out that we should head back toward the area where we had gotten off the bus and sure enough the market was right there!  It was quite possible the coolest thing I have seen in India.  It was filled with hundreds of people and vendors.  People selling fruits, vegetables, flowers, grains, and spices.  It was breathtakingly beautiful.  There were tarps of various colors and lengths covering the vendors which created all this interesting and varying lighting.  A few brave individuals tried their English on us.  It is really hard to describe it.  The moods and vibes of people was very lively.  All the colors overloaded my mind.  The smells went from rotting matter, to onion,to fresh fruits, to cilantro, to jasmine, within seconds.  Jonathan spotted some sugar cane which he has had before at his site so we purchased some.  He showed me how to eat it.  It is difficult and has a mildly sweet taste, you kind of just chew on the middle matter and then spit it out as it doesn't really seem like it is digestible.  After walking down many side alleys and main alleys we ventured out.  We did buy two pomegranates for Ravanan.  I remember one time he said he really liked them.  They are pretty pricey by Indian standards so I am guessing that is why he never has any - he seemed very happy to receive them as a gift.

Instead of just getting a bus back to the city center we walked down this street which was boring and seemed like a kind of industrial side of town.  We caught a bus at the end of the street headed for the city center again.  We jumped off a little early and decided we would explore.  Well, we found the train station on our own but thought we were lost temporarily until we found the greatest thing ever in the eyes of Jonathan:  A used book store with English books!!!  We immediately went in and sure enough there were hundreds of books.  We both bought some.  We were both kind of dehydrated by this point because for some reason we had decided earlier in the morning that we only needed one bottle of water - mistake!  We decided that some fresh pressed juice would cure us!  We found a sit down place that made juice and we each downed a pineapple juice.  After that we headed on our way home to have some lunch and prepare to send Jonathan on his way!  It was a beautiful weekend and I was glad to finally have a companion to accompany me to the many sights of Trichy which I have eagerly been waiting to see.  I am always glad to have time to spend with Jonathan - I enjoy our visits very much.  Now I am enjoying a relaxing evening and about to settle into my new book, Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  I hope everyone else had a lovely weekend!

Temple and Science Museum:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Srirangam%20Temple/

Gandhi Market:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Gandhi%20Market/

~

A few weeks ago Derka (the woman who cleans our house and does our laundry) and her mother put henna on our hands.  They just did it out of the blue.  Derka is always visiting with us.  I enjoy her company and I can tell she enjoys ours.  Her husband is not a very nice man which Ravanan has confirmed to me which leads me to believe it is pretty bad.  So I love when she is visiting with us later in the evenings, it makes me feel like she is safe and happy.  Also, on another night a few weeks ago Ravanan brought home a jackfruit.  It is so large and requires some skill and dedication to get to the fruit.  Ravanan gave me the first piece, probably because I was excitedly sitting there watching his every move!  I didn't care for it, but of course I didn't tell him that since he was sweating from all that hard labor and looked so excited for me to try it.  I think in order to describe it I must first tell you how I feel about papaya.  To me papaya tastes like dirty feet. Instantly upon eating the jackfruit I was reminded for some reason of papaya.  I quickly pinpointed why:  jackfruit tastes like dirty feet!  Here is the link to the pictures from those two experiences:  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/henna%20and%20jackfruit/