A few beautiful things

Last night as I was walking in my neighborhood, running some errands, I got to experience a truly beautiful celebration.  The power had just gone out and it was getting dark.  Houses and shops had very beautiful rangoli made with colorful powder and not just white powder.  Around the rangoli and all around the outside of their houses and shops were little pottery vessels with oil in them and a burning flame.  The sight was quite beautiful.  I asked a few people what was going on and they told me it was a time to pray to their family God.  The moon was also full and every once in a while a big beautiful firework would go off overhead.

Today I arrived at school all excited for my lesson plan.  Luckily my lesson plan involved my camera because upon arriving at school I encountered a beautiful scene.  The fourth standard boys came running to meet me as I arrived at school.  The kept saying things in Tamil, all excitedly forgetting that I only speak English.  I followed them to the lot behind the school to the empty field.  There they showed me that they had just finished burying a crow.  The older girls told me it was found dead in the school this morning so the boys buried it.  They made a cross out of sticks, the girls went and got  some flowers, they dug a hole and then placed rocks on top of the mound.  It was a rather beautiful thing to witness.  I am not sure if birds or crows in particular have some special meaning but they did make it apparent that even a crow deserves a proper burial.

My lesson plan was fun.  I took a picture of each student which I will print very soon.  Then each student will make a poster with their picture and some information about themselves written in English.  I did an example one of myself on the blackboard and they all became super excited.  It seems like a good culminating activity since break will be beginning very soon.  They all appreciated standing by themselves in front of the camera. One thing to note is that Indians do not smile in front of a camera.  In fact the exact opposite seems to happen - their faces just automatically go to a serious face - you have to make them smile!
http://s1150.beta.photobucket.com/user/kyliejedwards/library/Children%20portraits

Diwali and more

On Friday I left for Jonathan’s place.  On the way I met Durqa at the bus stand.  She gave me some chocolate to share with Jonathan and some sweet coconut bread to share as well.  She also gave me a beautiful saree as a Diwali gift.  It is black, red, and white and so beautiful.  I will definitely cherish it forever.  She had rushed to the bus stand so she was all sweaty and winded.  I gave her some water and she sat down and let out a massive amount of air.  She seemed stressed.  I have gathered that Diwali provides much stress on households.  It seems like the pressure to provide gifts and prepare food for any guests that you may have is equal to the pressures of Christmas.  I talked with her for a little while until my bus pulled up.  She told me I had to call her every day when I was gone and that she needed to talk to Jonathan Sir.  I assured her that we would talk and that Jonathan would speak with her too.  She then came and sat on the bus with me until I assured her that I was safe and would not let any men sit in my seat!  She stood by the door of the bus until the bus took off and waved me goodbye.  I felt such love for her at that moment.  She is just such a beautiful person.

After that bus ride I then caught a bus to Keeranur which is where Jonathan stays.  Right when I got on the bus this young woman in a saree came pushing through the crowd to stand right next to me.  There was no room whatsoever on that bus.  Suddenly, she pointed at me and said, “Jonathan Sir, Miss?”  I instantly started to laugh and told her yes I was the Miss associated with Jonathan Sir.  She then told me that she is the sister to the driver of the Gurukulum.  Both Jonathan and I know the driver quite well so I nodded and told her that I knew him.  We kept up small talk the whole way to Keeranur.  Once there she waited until we spotted Jonathan at the bus stand because the power was out so there were no lights and it was dark out, and Keeranur is not the safest place.  She was so sweet and it made me think about how many people there are in India yet how I had just happened to run into someone in one of the larger cities who knew me! 

The next day Jonathan and I traveled to Coimbatore and watched a movie.  We also bought some Christmas gifts and a few warm items for our adventures into the Himalayan region!  Because of the holiday the bus stand was a mad house.  We waited at the bus stand for over an hour and a half trying to catch a bus back home.  Finally, we got on a bus but once we got to Dharaparum we had already missed the last bus to Keeranur so we stayed the night in Jonathan’s old lodge. 

The next day we went to Chandra’s house and ate a ton of food.  We had sweets, chicken biriyani, white rice with rasam, and more sweets.  It was such a good meal.  And I always love being around Chandra because she is such a lovely human being.  She is so kind and genuine in her interactions.  We also met this couple who speaks English perfectly.  They were nice to visit with us for so long.  We even stopped by their house on our way home to have tea.  We then headed back home and played with the children for quite some time.  They were excited to see we had come back!  Right when we got back we were each gifted a new Indian outfit by a very rich donor to the Gurukulum.  I was given the uniform saree that all the wardens were given which was quite an honor.  And Jonathan was given a beautiful white dress shirt and a new dhoti.

The next day we took a short trip into Dharaparum to walk around and buy snacks for the kids for Diwali.  We walked around and then purchased our snacks at the bus stand.  We went back to the Gurukulum and handed out the snacks.  The kids were so grateful and appreciated the snacks.  And if you have read Jonathan’s blog about high fives and handshakes you will get the humor in this.  Jonathan is handing out snacks and I am the official handshaker next to him.  He refused handshakes because he was handing out.  I am sure that I shook each hand at least twice and maybe more, which would explain my sickness right now!

The rest of the day we just hung out with the kids and watched them get excited for Diwali.  They even set off a few fire crackers early in the evening to bring in the holiday!  Jonathan and I also did a swing dance number for the kids, which they thought was awesome.  It was a very fun evening.  During prayer Jonathan had somehow disappeared and I was left to give all the students a speech.  I told them all that I love seeing them and miss them when I am in Trichy and that they are all beautiful children.  You would have thought I gave them each a million dollars by the expressions on their faces.  It was a lovely moment.

The next morning all the children were extremely joyous and beautiful of course!  They were all in brand new uniforms and running about blowing things up.  Some of the girls were doing each other’s hair, trying to make it perfect!  We were then rushed to eat.  After eating I changed in my new saree from the donor.  We were then rushed into the classroom area where there was a stage set up and all the children were quietly sitting on the floor.  The guru from Kerala and the Gurukulum guru who is 98 years old were sitting in front as well.  We listened to the 98 year old guru give a speech and then three men played carnatic music.  It was beautiful to listen to.  I sat on the floor with the girls, which was fun. 

After that we took many photos with the wardens, the driver, and the three older Sir’s who take care of the children.  Jonathan escaped.  He has definitely mastered his escaping skills because it took me several minutes to figure out that he had left.  I told them all I was going for a face wash and then found Jonathan happily sitting in his room at his computer, relieved to be out of the spotlight and have some alone time.  We then took a nap which lasted for quite some time.  It is draining entertaining all the children and my body attempting to fight of at least 30 different viruses at the same time!  We then ate a beautiful big meal of biriyani, chilli cauliflower, and a sweet!  It was so delicious.  After that we walked to town to buy jasmine for my hair and as a gift to the wardens.  Jonathan and I appreciated the quiet time and the time together.  The wardens were so happy to receive the jasmine and roses which we gave them.  They never get to leave the Gurukulum so they were happy to have the gift which is essential to any dressy event.  They then redid my saree wrapping, put jewelry on me, and made me look like an Indian princess.  The jasmine and rose was secured in my hair so beautifully.  The wardens and all the children kept telling me I looked like a doll because of my white skin.  If only they all knew just how beautiful their many shades of brown skin is! 

The evening festivities were set to start right after prayer.  We were asked again to give a speech after prayer.  I told said that I was so happy to experience their culture and thanked them for showing me their culture and allowing me to participate in this holiday.  And of course that each and every one of them is beautiful!!!  Jonathan gave such a great speech that it made me get all teary eyed.  He does have a way with words, my boyfriend the writer!

The kids were then set free to blow everything up that could possibly ever be blown up in India!  We all sat down to watch fireworks.  Jonathan and I were given front row seats next to Chandra.  These seats were not all they that great.  Ash and paper on fire kept falling on us and I am pretty sure had any exploded in the case, as does occasionally happen, we would have received many of the flaming shards.  Chandra told me that most of the firecrackers and other things that the children were lighting on fire were all made in factories that are known to have child labor.  She told me that many children wasted their lives in those factories and died very young due to the conditions and exposure to chemicals.  That fact and my fear of being blown up were enough to keep me from partaking.  I just ran around and took pictures of all the joyous children.  (I posted most of these photos on facebook)  After about three hours of crackers and flames the children were exhausted.  They filled their bellies with delicious food and fell fast asleep.  The whole compound was dead quiet by around 9:00 PM!  Children are so beautiful!  I was fast asleep with a fever not much later.

The next morning I left before breakfast.  But before I let I said good-bye to all the children I could find and the wardens that I could find.  I did notice that many children had large burn marks and holes in their brand new uniforms which made me laugh!  I caught a bus filled with some Gurukulum alumni girls who stay at a girl’s home in Dindigual.  They squeezed me in between them and offered me oodles of sweets until they all fell asleep.  What a beautiful weekend it was.  Did I mention that I love India?

Conversations with Durqa

I sometimes wish that I could tape record all the conversations that Laura and I have with Durqa.  Some of them are so simple and beautiful, some leave me laughing so hard I get a stomach ache, and others leave my brain whirling.  One of our most recent conversations was regarding sex.  I have thought for a little while about the appropriateness of including this in my blog but I decided that dialogue regarding sex is a huge step forward in women’s liberation and in developing nations making healthy decisions regarding sexual health practices and healthy family planning decisions. 

As a side note I must mention that Durqa’s marriage is not recognized by the government.  The age difference between her husband and her is too large and the government does not allow marriages with such an age gap.  This however, does not keep a Brahmin from performing the service.  So her wedding is recognized by Hindus but not by the government.

The three of us (Laura, Durqa, and I) were sitting in the kitchen area of our house.  Somehow the conversation was focused on marriage.  She then began talking about ‘the secret’ which from previous conversations we knew was sex.  The individual in me that loves culture started probing.  I asked her how she found out about ‘the secret’ and sadly she told me on her wedding night.  Blown away by this and making sure we didn’t mishear what she had said Laura and I asked her again in several different ways.  She told us that no one ever told her about sex.  It just happened on the night of her wedding.  We asked her if she will tell her son or if her husband will tell her son and she sternly told us that she will not tell her son.  It was unclear who would actually tell her son.  She did tell us that she will tell her son’s wife on the wedding day about sex because she is a good woman. 

This conversation has left me thinking so much.  I got to thinking about how Durqa’s younger life and marriage took place in a village with little to no access to media.  Therefore, she probably did not have access to any media which would have told her about sex previous to her marriage.  Also, women do not talk about sex at all.  It is strictly a marriage secret as Durqa let us know several times.  I was also left feeling like Durqa and I am sure many other women experienced rape.  Maybe that is being culturally biased or insensitive but she had no idea what was going to happen to her and she definitely did not consent to the sex.  I think it is very interesting that her mother did not tell her about sex or what to expect on the night of her marriage.  I am sure that it probably happened to her as well.  Wouldn’t she want to tell her daughter?  Maybe she was afraid Durqa would run away but it does seem like there are many opportunities to discuss sex after the marriage ceremony and before the wedding night.  The conversation ended with Durqa standing up and with a tired face telling us that she does not like sex.  I got up, gave her a hug, and told her she was beautiful.  I don’t think I could endure what Durqa has endured and still smile every day.  

Rainy Day Poncho

Last week we had two Rain Days!  On the second rain day I decided to make Ravanan a poncho.  This is because I gave him one of mine from home but because of his broad shoulders he ripped it all down the side.  He does have to still work in the rain and many nights he has left with that little $.99 poncho and then comes back soaked!

So I gathered all my plastic bags together and designed him a poncho that will hopefully last and keep him super dry.  It is quite ugly but practical.  Durqa came into my room as I was making it and began cracking up uncontrollably.  I then told her it was a gift for Ravanan brother and then she was hysterical.  Durqa wanted to show Jenna so we went to her room with it all on me.  Jenna opened her door to find me looking like a wizard adorned in plastic shopping bags and a laughing Durqa.  Jenna then snapped some shots of me in my beautiful creation.  Then I attempted to take the poncho off but had trouble.  Then I stood in front of Durqa and put my arms up indicating that I needed her to lift it over my head.  But to a woman who wears a saree everyday (a dress that does not go over the head) this non-verbal body language just seemed very odd.  Durqa then just grabbed me around the mid-section and hugged me sooo tight.  It was so cute and I had to hug her back just as hard as we both laughed.

Night came around and Ravanan came over.  Luckily Durqa was there to watch Ravanan receive his gift.  He at first thought it was a joke and refused to accept it.  It was kind of funny and then Durqa explained that I cut it all and tapped all the seams.  He finally took the gift and explained that it would be great at home in his village.

Jenna did make a humorous video of it all and it is posted on my facebook page.

Another great weekend!

Jonathan came this weekend.  It was a relatively low key weekend which was nice.  We both haven’t been in perfect health, especially Jonathan.  On Friday night we met downtown and had dinner out.  It was nice to not have to eat rice and to get to pick out what I wanted to eat!  We even ordered beer to the table – so refreshing!

On Saturday we went to buy a few things at the market for Jonathan since he doesn’t really have a place to buy the necessities.  We then went to a travel agent and book our train tickets to and from North India.  On December 15^th we will leave Chennai and arrive on the 17^th in Varanasi, India.   A very old and holy city known for its ghats on the Ganges where they say devout Hindus go to die.  We will spend one day there to get acclimated to life off a train after two full days on a train!  From Varanasi we will then head up to Nepal and eventually arrive in Kathmandu, Nepal.  From Kathmandu we will then try and get to Pokhara; a smaller city that is known to host “hippies and eccentric Everest trekkers” – according to the Lonely Planet.  Pokhara is supposed to have the best views of the Himalayas.  We don’t have any solid plans for a few days.  We will then head to Kolkata and spend a day or two.  From Kolkata we will head back toward South India.  On the 28^th we will leave Kolkata to arrive In Bangalore on the 30^th.  We then will probably spend a little time there and then catch government buses back toward Jonathan’s site.  All very exciting! 

Once we were finished with our travel agent adventure we headed back to my hostel.  When we arrived Mahindra (Durqa’s son) was waiting in the house with Jenna and Laura.  He made us boiled eggs.  Jonathan and I devoured our eggs.  They were delicious!  We then all left with Durqa to go to Domino’s Pizza.  Mahindra has had Domino’s before but Durqa has never eaten Domino’s.  Jonathan and I got a veggie pizza to share and Jenna and Laura got a cheese to share.  The food came to the table and Durqa looked so disappointed to find out that there was no rice involved.  She took a slice of our veggie pizza and we all waited with anticipation for her to try it and hopefully love it!  She looked so disgusted upon tasting the pizza.  She then declares that we are foreigners and we like pizza but she likes rice.  Haha!  She is so beautiful.  Mahindra, like all teenage boys, devoured slice after slice of both pizzas.  Jonathan, although not a teenage boy, did fill his stomach right up with pizza and then dropped his head on the table due to having a head cold!  Durqa of course thought it was because he was drinking a cold drink in a room with air conditioning. 

Sunday morning we had a nice relaxing time.  We walked around my neighborhood to wait until the shops opened so we could buy milk.  We had bought cereal the day before and we were up early to buy that milk all excited about eating our corn flakes with honey!  Oh my, were they tasty – it’s been ages since I have had cold cereal!  We then headed off to a little mall downtown where Jonathan bought a hot water heater so that he can take warm showers since his water is always icy cold!  And to boil his drinking water, since he has been getting sick so often.  We then had a fresh sweet lime juice and I put Jonathan on a bus! 

I then had lunch at a teacher’s house.  It was nice.  She is a very funny lady.  Many of her husband’s family members live with her so their house was crowded with over joyed people to greet us.  They all can communicate very well in English.  They have a cute little girl who is filled with energy.  They served us delicious food on a banana leaf on the floor of their living room.  It was special and I didn’t feel awkward about it all which was nice.  I guess I am just getting used to people sitting a staring at me while I eat.  They even had a sweet on the banana leaf which was nice and was obviously done special for our coming.  They all then went and ate in the other room.  When they were done we left with the teacher walking us because we insisted on walking home because we had errands to run.  She couldn’t believe that we knew the way back to our hostel.  Indians just don’t walk and don’t get why anyone would walk.  She kept asking us over and over again if we got pain in our legs.  We all three giggled and insisted that we like walking.  Especially, after being forced to eat at least two full cups of white rice!  Her husband and daughter followed us on his motorcycle.  The little two and a half year old kept honking the horn on the motor cycle as she sat between her dad and the handle bars!  It was adorable they would pass us and she would honk.  Then we would walk by them and she would wave frantically at us.  We finally convinced her once we got to the main road that we knew where we were so she left with her family on the motorcycle.  It was cute and sweet.  They left to go dress shopping because there is a huge Hindu holiday coming up this next week.  It was a very beautiful weekend.