Rain Day

This morning I woke up to find out my wind torrential rain.  A cyclone has hit the coast and has brought us a ton of water.  Luckily we are not at the heart of it where all the wind and madness is and luckily it is nothing like Sandy.  The storm however does appear to have just as devastating consequences.
Usually I can hear all the children as they come to school.  I can hear them all talking, giggling, and yelling to each other since my bedroom window is right at the main road to the school.  I can also hear the little chime of their bells on their bikes.  This morning there was no such noise.  Only the noise of constant hard rain could be heard.  The sight outside was just as gloomy.  The sky remained in that state of darkness that is early morning pre-sunrise, little puddles turned into massive bodies of water making some routes along the road unpassable, and beautiful Indians walked by swaddled up and with umbrellas held close.  I called Ravanan he told me that school was cancelled, "school leave, rain day".  Laura and her parents were here.  It was so nice to meet them.  They offered to take us all to lunch.  And who can pass up a meal out?  Not any sane person who eats rice at least two meals a day and maybe three meals a day!
We got in a call taxi and were soon outside of the Periyar compound.  The sight I first saw devastated me.  I immediately felt like bursting into tears, however, being in a car with several people I refrained from doing so.  The thatch village or "slum" as local people call it was over flowing with water.  It sits right across the street from the complex and is where most all of my students live.  It sits on a piece of land that is already surrounded by marsh and is at a lower level than the surrounding land.  The constant rain has totally submerged this little area.  I saw people walking in knee deep water and houses submerged in water.  In anthropology I remember reading about how the poorest of the poor in developing nations are always the first impacted by weather/environmental changes.  This obviously being due to how land is developed.  Nicer land is always for the well off while the areas near rivers that frequently flood, the coastal areas that see many harmful storms, low lying land, and land stripped of natural resources is often left aside for the poor to settle.  This is clearly the case in my neighborhood.  It made me so sad to think of my poor students at home with probably no place warm and dry to go, yet a few blocks down the road is a well to do neighborhood with families who are probably warm and dry, with full bellies, who are oblivious to the tragedy that is happening in their neighborhood.  I have come to love my students no matter how naughty they can be at times.  I cannot even imagine the struggles and challenges they must be facing right now.  I don't know if I will ever come to understand how such inequalities can exist in our world with enough resources for all.

Daily pleasures of life

Sometimes we forget the simple daily pleasures that make our life so beautiful, so, I decided to enlighten those who don't live in India with what the simple pleasures of my life look like!

Daily Durqa comes and visits me.  Most days in the week she brings me a sweet because she knows that I love sweets.

Several times throughout the day I can hear the call to prayer.

Walking to school daily I walk past the watchman who everyday stands up and attempts a greeting with me and then asks me in Tamil if I ate and what it is that I ate.

In the afternoon I get to drink tea which Ravanan brings.

These are just a few of the little things that make my life in India beautiful.

School, reading, movies, a holiday, and "cold weather"

I feel like I have really gotten into a routine at my school these days.  I have learned to deal with the chaotic environment and really dedicate myself to the teaching moments that I am given, whenever they may arise.  I realized the other day that my students really have progressed in their ability to communicate.  On my first visit most of the children did not know much more than a simple greeting.  Now my children can tell you about themselves and inquire about you!  For the past few days I have been reading my children stories as a kind of easy activity.  This term is extra short and they are often left alone in their classrooms to plow through loads of work so I try and make their time with me a little more relaxing and fun.  The books that I have been reading are in English and Tamil.  I let a few of them take turns reading the Tamil to the class while I read the English.  You can tell most of them have never been read to.  They now beg me daily to read to them.  Maybe I can get my hands on some simple English children's books and read those to them.

I have been reading several books lately.  There is this Indian author who writes books about Indian youth and their lives and struggles.  Just my style!  His name is Chetan Bhagat.  One book in particular really intrigued me because it offers a perspective on Tamil Nadu from an Indian from North India.  The racism toward Tamils in the book is interesting and reminded me of racism in the South of the U.S.  The title is:  2 States:  The story of my marriage.  After I finished reading all his books I took up a rather serious book which is probably one of the best books I have read in quite a long time.  The book is set in Calcutta (now Kolkata) in the 1970's-1980's.  It tells two stories which alternate between chapters.  One of the stories is about a human rickshaw puller the other about a Polish priest.  Although based on the background of the book which I read about online there is a third character who will be entering the story soon!  Although I am not in Kolkata, I can still draw many similarities to where I live and where Jonathan lives.  This book is titled: City of Joy.

This past weekend we had a long weekend due to two holidays this week.  I went to stay with Jonathan which was nice.  It is nice to experience different living situations only to realize how fantastic your own is!  Jonathan's site is much better than mine.  The school is orderly and the structure and treatment of the children at the orphanage at his site is of much higher quality.  However, my living arrangements really surpass his.  Anyways, we went to see two movies this weekend in Coimbatore.  It was nice to be in such a western style place.  And it was so much fun watching movies!  We saw Taken 2 and Premium Rush.  Both were great movies.  Jonathan and I got the opportunity to go for a few walks around the fields at his site.  The fields have really turned from many shades of beautiful browns to vibrant shades of green.  It looks breath taking and a sight that I never want to forget with all the water buffalo wandering slowly through the fields and the old men in their longhis standing in their fields.  One of the days that I was at Jonathan's site was a holiday.  It was interesting seeing how much Hinduism is drilled into these children and how strongly holidays are observed.  But then again I do live on an atheist compound.  The holiday was basically a holiday devoted toward cleaning spaces, decorating them, and blessing them.  Which was perfect since Jonathan and I spent the morning cleaning his room not knowing of the holiday.  But around 4:00pm the children all gathered in the prayer hall and began chanting.  This chanting lasted for about 1.5 hours.  During this time some of the older girls and workers gave gifts to the Gods and decorated the sanctum with flowers, a yellow paste, and red paste.  Also, during this time all the children were given beautiful dots of yellow, red, and gray on their foreheads.  Of course all the children wanted to give Jonathan and I our dots so I had several layers of yellow, red, and gray on my forehead.  Once the children were directed to stop chanting they all then rushed toward the sanctum and they prayed to the Gods.  Then a staff member went in and came out with the gifts from the Gods.  Then all the children and staff shared in the gifts from the Gods.  The gifts were puffed rice and roasted chickpeas.  I sat on the floor with the boys and enjoyed my snack.  It was humorous because some of the children were folding their shirts and filling that area like a sort of pouch.  Well, the older boys that I was sitting with kept pointing and saying, "bad habit", as they ate their snacks off sheets of paper.  It was funny.  There was also a touching moment that nearly brought tears to my eyes.  There is a very young boy who has a development delay.  He came to sit near me and the older boys.  He somehow did not get any snacks and was eating puffed rice off the ground.  I had eaten my snacks already and called Jonathan over to give him his snacks.  He took them with a smile on his face from Jonathan, who he absolutely adores.  Then Jonathan walked away.  The young boy finished the snacks as there was not much because Jonathan was almost finished.  An older boy who idolizes Jonathan then gave him the remainder of his snacks.  It was so sweet and really shows the impact that Jonathan has on his students.  Mentally ill and developmentally delayed people do not always get treated with dignity in India.  But I think that Jonathan is slowly changing the attitudes of the children at the Gurukulum by showing patience and compassion toward the children with developmental delays.  On another random side note about this holiday, all the cars, lorries, buses, autos, and scooters were decorated with yellow and red paste, and banana leaves.  Jonathan watched the function that took place around the vehicles.  Maybe he will write about it in his blog soon!

Now onto a funny topic!  Last Friday was the first day of all day rain.  The rainy season has started!  I arrived at school only to find nearly all my children dressed in knit sweaters and hats!!!  I could not believe my eyes.  The weather had to be between 75 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit.  I was laughing so hard I broke a sweat!  I could truly not believe my eyes.  I wish I had brought my camera to school to capture this sight!  I asked one of the older girls if she was cold, she looked at me like I was crazy and responded very eagerly, " Yes Miss!"

The past few days

I have been so unmotivated to write about vacation, perhaps because it was so perfect and beautiful - it almost seems unreal!
So I will just tell you this about my vacation:
Jonathan and I had so much fun!  We spent a few days at Jonathan's placement.  It was fun.  His children are very lovely and are in a highly structured educational setting.  Their dedication is due largely to the dedication that the teachers give to them.  It was nice to see since the environment where I work lacks any structure and dedication from teachers.  During this time we also got to visit Chandra at her house and her parents farm.  Her house is very nice.  She has a little garden area out in the back where several different fruits and vegetables grow.  Her family's farm was also beautiful.  The land and the house are so quiet and the pace of life is much different from the dirty shuffle of Trichy.  Chandra's cooking is also very impressive.  I wish my hostel workers cooked like her!!  We stayed over one night in Coimbatore, the third largest city in Tamil Nadu.  We drank a cup of filter coffee, had some beer, and slept a full night in ac!  We then moved on to Kerala, which was an adventure all on its own.  I recommend you read Jonathan's blog about the pleasant bus ride to Kerala.  The views were beautiful and it was interesting to zoom in and out of all these small cities and towns.  We spent the a few days in Kerala where it was cool and had power full time!  It was absolutely delightful.  Jonathan and I drank masala tea, ate Italian food, ate eggs and toast, watched nature, and relaxed.  It truly was the perfect little getaway.  We visited a tea plantation and a spice garden.  They were both absolutely breath taking!

I have come back and started to get back in the swing of things here in Trichy.  I felt so refreshed to be back at school.  It was obvious upon arriving back at school that my teachers did not have the same refreshed attitude.  Most of my children were beaten the first few days back because they did not make marks.  Meaning they did not pass the quarterly exams.  This was extremely difficult for me besides for the obvious reasons.  The teachers at my school do not teach and are not in the classroom the majority of the time.  To me it is quite obvious that the children did not pass their quarterly marks because of the lack of instruction from the teachers.  This however, was not an idea which crossed the mind of the headmistress as she beat all the kids that did not pass.  Government schools in Tamil Nadu have a lot of progress to make.  Tamil Nadu definitely needs more teachers like those at Jonathan's school.

Yesterday, I spent my whole afternoon with Durqa.  It was her birthday.  She brought Laura and I chicken gravy and an egg to eat with rice.  It was so delicious!  I gave her a new saree for her birthday.  She seemed to really like the colors and material.  I just wish that I could fully describe how beautiful Durqa is.  Durqa and I then walked to the principal of the Pharmacy College's house.  Durqa does some work there to make a little extra money.  She has talked about us to the principal and she wanted to meet us so I went with her, just her and I walking there was nice.  We ran into some of my students on the way.  They always get shy when they see me outside of class and forget all English that I have taught them.  But Durqa yelled at them to say hello to me in Tamil.  It was very funny and cute.  She pinched their cheeks and we moved on.  We got to the principals house and I visited with her daughter while I waited for her to come home.  Durqa got to her cleaning.  The principal and her other daughter came home and visited with me.  I had so much fun.  They all speak English very well and are very nice.  Durqa finished cleaning and joined us.  We then all had a piece of cake and some snacks for Durqa's birthday.  We all four sat talking for about two hours.  It was a great evening.  Durqa and I then walked home in the dark.  She held my hand nearly the whole way.  I love her and what she adds to my life.

Today I went to visit Athiya.  She is another woman whom I have become friends with.  Today she made me biriyani with chicken gravy and onion with curd.  It was soooo good.  Except for the fact that she made me eat what felt like 1 kilo of rice.  I sat eating in her hair salon with her two friends and Jenna.  It was so nice.  She then insisted, after I ate more rice than I ate in the past decade, that we eat sweets to help cool the spice feeling in our mouths.  It was a fun time.  Tomorrow her and I are going shopping on her scooty.  I am looking forward to it.

Periyar Birthday

Periyar is the man who started the complex in which I live in.  He was an activist in Southern India, mainly Tamil Nadu, who was an atheist.  His rational was that religion caused too many problems and that religion was the force behind the caste system.  He believed that in order to rid India of the caste system they must leave religion behind.  I am in the process of reading a book titled, Periyar on Feminism, so I will inform you of that when I know more.  I think Periyar was pretty cool, he respected all these religions but made a point to say that most of the conflict in his country was based on religion and he tried to call this to the attention of his fellow citizens.
So, on his birthday along with all the children from each and every school on the complex as well as the two colleges we all went down to Trichy Junction where Periyar's statue stands.  The crowd gathered around him and several men wearing black shirts raised a flag while chanting praises in his name.  After that several people or groups of people with some prestige in the organization went up to put flowers around the statue.  During this time, Sylvie, a woman who works at the orphanage and was herself an orphane there, stood up and began yelling praises to Periyar.  All the students and children were chanting back to her.  It was actually quite beautiful.  Of course we were asked to put flowers around Periyar's statue being that we are their special guests.  We then rode home in a bus with a bunch of pharmacy college girls and they chanted most of the way back to the complex.  It was a very nice day.  Jonathan took a very great picture of Sylvie while she was standing up and chanting.

Here is the link from all my pictures from vacation:  I will blog about our vacation a little later!  http://s1150.photobucket.com/albums/o602/kyliejedwards/Holiday%20in%20Kerala/

1000 Year old Temple

Jonathan came for the weekend and we had a splendid adventure.  On Saturday we went to Thanjavur which is about an hour bus ride from Trichy.  We arrived in Thanjavur and it seemed like a very small town.  We hopped in an auto and went to Big Temple.  We soon realized that Thanjavur is in fact a rather large city.  The temple was massive, beautiful, and free!  The temple is a World Heritage site and is open to the public.  We wondered around the complex slowly discussing the beauty of the temple, history, and religion.  It was really amazing standing in this temple complex knowing that it was 1000 years old.

Dinner at Durqa's

I originally wrote this as a letter to Lois but due to vacationing and not bringing my letter along to send I will put it here for all to read because truly it is an important issue that I face everyday.  I wrote this letter to Lois because of all the beautiful women in my life she is the strongest advocate of feminism in my life.

Lois,

Today was a beautiful day.  Jonathan came this weekend.  On Saturday we went to see some cave paintings and an ancient temple which was carved into a hillside.  It was very cool.  Today we went to Durqa’s house for lunch.  Durqa works at the complex where I teach.  She cleans all the hostels all by herself.  She comes by our hostel all the time to relax and hangout with us.  I have really come to care for her and enjoy her company.

I never truly identified myself as a feminist.  I studied feminism in my gender studies course my junior year of college.  I loved learning about it and quickly became thankful for countless women who fought hard for me to be in that very seat in that classroom.  All during that time I never thought of myself as a feminist – even as I read sociology/anthropology texts about women suffering due to unequal treatment, social construction, or cultural gender roles.  I always was digging into the texts with a non-judgmental view point that my professors demanded of us, however, feminism was lurking in the back of my brain.  The authors I read, many were feminists but never made it the focus of their work but sure did make a point of mentioning it.  I guess for me ethnic/racial discrimination has always been of more importance.

Now here I am in India and I want to be a feminist.  It’s all I can think about sometimes.  I want to reinvest myself in gender studies.  I can sit for hours on my bed just analyzing male and female roles which I observe on a daily bases.

Back to Durqa and why I want to be a feminist.  Durqa is married to her uncle.  She is 35, her husband 60 years old.  He was previously married and his wife died.  Durqa was of marrying age and was married off to him, her uncle, at the age of 19.  Within a year of marriage she had her son.  Her husband already had a son from his first marriage so this made it a house with one husband and two sons to care for all by the age of 20.  Durqa’s husband drinks alcohol and no longer works, worst of all he is abusive to Durqa.  But to her it is not all that uncommon.  She was just dealt a bad husband and in order to be a good woman she must ‘adapt to the man’.  If she cannot ‘adapt to the man’ then she is a bad Indian woman.  This I have heard from several Indian women when talking about marriage.  This idea is upheld by women themselves-this is where sociology comes in and blows my mind.  Other women actually look down on other women who cannot ‘adapt’ and leave their husbands by running away or going back to their parents house.  They actually believe that these women are not good women.

We went over to Durqa’s house for dinner.  Her neighborhood is beautiful and obviously stricken by poverty.  The streets were lined with people sleeping on cots, people bathing, people doing wash and dishes, and people cooking – all this happening outside on the streets.  Kids ran around playing games.  Durqa instantly became a celebrity as she walked through the narrow streets with us.  People yelled her name and asked if we were her guests.  She shrugged like it was no big deal!  All the young girls followed us as Durqa led us upstairs to her apartment.  It is a small one room apartment with a wall dividing the kitchen, which is half the house, from the sleeping area which is where we sat while she bustled away in the kitchen.  Durqa got us settled with drinks and cookies which I brought for her as a treat.   Little girls stood in the doorway and peered in at us curious about these white people in their neighborhood.  Durqa addressed them endearingly and instructed them how to greet us in English as she continued to cook.  I got up and went to see her kitchen.  With pride she answered my questions about what all the strange tools were.  Her son soon returned and helped her get things ready to eat.  Her husband returned to the house shortly after and took a seat near us but did not really talk to us.  Durqa came in shortly thereafter and introduced us.  She returned to the kitchen and within 10 minutes came with plates overloaded with rice and delicious sauces.  We all inhaled our food with delight.  Her cooking skills are very impressive.  She made us chicken biriyani with raitha, a savory sauce, and an egg on the side.  After we finished her son took our plates away and Durqa helped us to wash our hands in a small bowl on the kitchen floor.  She then prepared a plate of food for her husband and got him settled with his food.  She then came out with her plate and sat on the floor, I jumped up to offer her my place and quickly sat on the ground to indicate that I did not need to sit in the seat.  She refused me with a very serious face and her son quickly said to me that it is a sign of respect that his mother sits on the floor.  Her husband then looked at me with a stern face and motioned to the wedding chain, indicating that because of marriage she must sit there on the floor while he sits in his chair looking down at her.  He also made it clear that I needed to get up off the floor because I was being disrespectful.  I wanted to cry so hard.  I wanted to run across the room and scream at him and pick her up and make her sit where I sat seconds ago.  I looked at Jonathan and thankfully for Jonathan’s soft knowing gaze I stood up without crying and placed myself back in the chair.  I just sat there admiring Durqa—admiring her for all her strength, admiring her for working 6 days a week for 12 hours a day and still always carrying a smile on her face.  Over and over in my head I was searching for a reason as to why such an injustice could happen to her merely because she was born a woman in this absolutely beautiful country. 

I am scared , angry, and sad.  I am scared that thousands of women around the world will never know what it feels like to be free.  I feel sad that Durqa will never be in charge of her own destiny.  I am angry that we let these injustices continue.  I sit here with all these feelings consuming me and I am at a loss at what to do.  I sit here with this fire in my bones wanting to jump into action and educate these women and men on what gender equality could look like.  Lois, I admire you as a feminist and I admire that you are so passionate about gender equality.  You invest yourself in creating a community with gender equality and I think that is admirable and beautiful.

Love Kylie

My great saree adventure!

As I continue my saree challenge today with 10 days already gone I have come to have many different thoughts on the saree.  I would like to first point out that the saree is such a beautiful dress.  It can be worn many different ways, comes in such vibrant and beautiful colors, and the blouses and way in which the saree is tied does accentuate the female body in such a nice manner drawing attention to the natural pear shape of the female figure.  Some information that I have acquired through other women and sometimes men during my days of saree wearing:

1.        Sarees are traditionally worn daily after marriage.  Married women can wear a chudi on weekends or when doing something active like yoga.  At home a nighty can be worn as well.  A nighty is a long simple dress typically made of cotton.

2.       The material of your saree is an indicator of your status.  Although this is never directly said it is implied and easily observed. 

3.       As a white woman wearing a saree, Indian men will actually respect you and not think degrading thoughts about you.  I came to this piece of information by an Indian man at the local hotel bar.

4.       It is rather hard to move quickly in a saree.  I came to this piece of information by walking with many Indian women in sarees and through my personal experience.  To add a bit to this, it is so hard for me to tell if it is just a cultural thing because both men and women in India move very slowly.  Traditional men wear is also hard to move quickly in so I am not sure if they are related or perhaps just a coincidence.

5.       The showing of stomach and upper back is okay.  Coming from a culture where we rarely show our midriff on a daily bases I am rather self conscious of my stomach showing.  I struggle to wrap my saree so that it does not show any of my stomach.  I asked Chandra and Durqa about the stomach and both answered with saying that it is personal preference.  However, I have noticed that older women do show a great deal of their stomach while if they wrap me up they do not reveal an inch of mine.  So I am not sure if there is some unwritten rule that if you are younger you must show less or maybe it has to do with me being unmarried and that dictates how much I can show. 

6.       I could have a whole different section for blouses but here is the abbreviated version.  Jonathan pointed it out to me that elderly women do not wear any blouses and I have found through my own observations that this is more common in the village areas than in the city area where I live.  Blouses can be sewn by nearly any women in Southern India.  I have only had two different women sew me a blouse but the general rule to blouses is that they need to be tight.  They need to be tight around the rib cage, neck line, and the arms.  I am not sure where this idea came from but I know that it makes the blouse, which is actually a very attractive piece of clothing, immensely uncomfortable.  I have convinced both women that I require loose clothing and therefore have a blouse which is much more comfortable than the average Southern Indian women wears.  There are also many ways to express your individuality through your blouse.  There are a number of different ways to get the back neckline shaped.  Lastly, the shape of the breast area can also be chosen.  You can have anything from a Madonna cone shape to a soft round look.

Now back to my original point:  After several days of vacationing and wearing other clothes I have come to realize how restrictive the saree is as I put it on.  It interests me because I love cultural and I am all for maintaining cultural traditions and perhaps I would feel differently if all women made the conscious decision to wear sarees and were not forced by the institution of marriage.  I couldn’t help but think that the sarees were a tool of keeping “women in their place”, a term I have heard used by an Indian man several times.  This is not to say that many women don’t love wearing the saree-of course many women love wearing the saree because it is a huge part of their cultural identity, especially as a Tamilian.  I often think that many women are not given the luxury to contemplate their situation and therefore have never thought about their daily ritual of putting on a saree and if asked about their wearing a saree they would tell you that they began wearing a saree daily when they were married.  Now, all that being said, I have seen many educated women who wear sarees with pride, which makes me happy and is why I continue to wear my sarees.  These educated women have taken back what is theirs and do not wear them because their husbands tell them to – they wear them because they choose to, because it is their cultural tradition and because it is a beautiful dress.  So I stand with these women in honoring their culture and I put on my saree.  This however does not keep my brain from swimming with thoughts questioning feminism and the role that sarees play in it.