Only in India

I have a lot of writing to do in order to catch up on where I am at in my adventures, but for now I will keep it simple with a thought that I had recently.  I want to share with you a few things that are so unique to India and remind me of the beautifulness of India but also remind me of the flaws within my own culture and that cultural differences present us with ideas that make us really understand that no culture is superior.

The other day I was on a bus and was sitting with another woman.  All of a sudden at one stop about 30 people crowded onto the bus.  This included a little girl with a backpack that was stuffed to the brim and looked like too much for her thin little frame.  She stood in front of our seat and was soon being pushed by the crowd into the metal pole in front of our seat.  We quickly took her bag from her, put it on the floor between us, and invited her to share our rather narrow bench with us.  She sat there packed between two grown women sweating profusely in the hot sun.  Another women was standing in front of us and was trying to manage to hold on, as the bus navigated the winding roads that unevenly cut through the rice paddies, and find her bus fare in her purse.  The young girl reached up and took her purse.  She placed it in her lap and dug for the woman's pocketbook.  Within seconds she was pilfering through the pocketbook for the exact change for the bus fare.  Once the change was found she handed it to the woman and secured her pocketbook back inside the purse which remained on the girls lap.

The example above made me think, only in India would a young school girl take the pocketbook of another woman on a bus and get her bus fare and replace everything.  I don't think I would ever hand over my pocketbook to a young person on a bus.  Indian's are so trusting of their fellow citizens.  Most people refer to each other as sister, brother, auntie, or uncle.  It was something that I also encountered in South Africa and loved, but never thought too much about.  Why would you steal from you sister?  It is a beautiful thing that I love about Indian culture and makes me sad about my own culture.  I wish we had a culture which was more trusting of each other, honest, and had a stronger sense of community.

Another bus example:  Many times I have been on a bus and a woman holding a baby and a bag or two will step on the bus.  There are no seats for this woman and child, however, men and women will jump over themselves to relieve her of holding her bags and her child.  A woman/man will grab the child and put it on their lap.  The child will not protest and often times will fall fast asleep.  Another woman/man will grab the bags from her and place them on her lap and not disturb the contents.  At first I thought that it was so odd that people would passively sit by and let this woman stand.  Soon enough I began to see it as something else.  I began to see that it is so unique to Indian culture.  I cannot truly describe how I feel when I witness such things.  I have seen men who are strangers grab the child and let them fall asleep, a man who entertained a fussy baby, and a woman who picked up a small girl and let her fall asleep on her.  This idea that their nation is comprised of their own brothers and sisters is really something that my own culture does not possess.  It is some sort of far away ideal that resides in the farthest reaches of my brain.  It always feels like a quality long lost to human civilization, yet here I am in South India and the ideal that I long for, for our society, is prevalent and so beautiful.

Another thing that I have encountered many times is going to the market or tea stall and not having enough money on me to pay for something or the clerk not having enough change.  They just smile and say next time.  The other day I went for coffee and only had one bigger bill and 11 rupees.  My morning coffee is 15 rupees.  The man simply smiled and said next time.  As I walked away from the tea stall I tried to imagine a scenario like that at home.  I found it very hard to imagine a coffee shop worker allowing me to proceed with my purchase without paying for a quarter of it.


Many times in India I have been driven to think "Only in India" - sometimes this phrases comes to my mouth when presented with something beautiful and so uniquely Indian and sometimes this phrases comes flying out of my mouth out of frustration.  More recently, with my departure date looming closer and closer, it has become a phrase to describe things that I will miss, things that I cannot explain to others who have not experienced a developing nation, things that I think are so beautiful and not a part of my own culture, and things that remind me of India's unique place that it will forever have in my heart. 

December 14-18th, 2012

We started our big adventure to Nepal off by saying good-bye to the lovely people in my life.  Jonathan arrived in Trichy on Friday afternoon.  Durga and I had been talking about food the day before and it came up that Jonathan would love this spicy dried fish collombu (gravy to put on rice).  So Jonathan arrived on Friday to a homemade lunch by Durga.  We all ate together and awkwardly laughed as we talked about gender roles.  I purposely try to defy gender roles when I am with Durga and Jonathan just to show Durga that it is okay for Jonathan to wash my plate.  The world will not stop!  And Durga mumbling under her breath about my 'duties' doesn't stop either!!

That evening, Durga, Jonathan, and I all met up with her son Mahindra at a restaurant downtown.  We ate a meal together.  Ravanan was supposed to come but he had work to do so we got food to go for him.  On the way back to the bus stand Durga insisted on buying Jonathan and I grapes and strawberries.  It was so nice of her.  They were tasty and we enjoyed them as breakfast and a snack on the morning train.  We got back home and gave Ravanan his tandoori chicken and dosa.  He smiled, thanked us, and went to his room to enjoy!

We then arrived back in our lovely room to find out that the sink had been running the whole time and had flooded the room!  So we spent our evening mopping and trying to push water into drains that don't really work!  It was humorous and just one of those things that only happens because you are about to go on holiday!

We awoke early to get ready for our train ride to Chennai.  We nervously drank coffee and ate fruit just silently hoping that everything goes as planned.  We got to the train station an hour early only to find that we were way too eager as the train had not arrived yet.  Durga and Mahindra met us at the station to help us get on and into our seats.  Durga also bought us a cool drink.  She is so motherly and just wanted to make sure we were okay.  She is so beautiful.  She stood outside my window on the train and just looked at me.  I was overwhelmed by her beauty and love.  We were quickly on our way to Chennai.  The train moved fast through rice paddies that were quite different from the ones we see around where Jonathan lives.  The rice paddies that we saw were mass producing plantations.  You would see a group of women all in the field tending to the crop.  It was a beautiful image.  We got to Chennai and made our way to the other train station and nervously got some food in a nearby hotel.  We were so nervous about getting on our train and it all working out because of our visas.  We finally got situated on our train - it was a piece of cake.  The train started to roll out of the station and we smiled at each other with excitement and those nervous feelings evaporating.

Our two nights and full day on the train was fun.  We made the most of it.  We enjoyed watching the many different landscapes just breeze by in the window.  We saw everything - rice paddies, wheat fields, mustard fields, villages, little towns, mountains, savannahs, rivers, livestock, forests, humans doing their daily rituals, cities, etc - and it was all so beautiful.  We also experienced our first scam of our trip on the train.  On one of the stops this man approached us with meals and shoved them at us saying they were the ones that we ordered.  We did order meals but from the train attendant.  He was wearing a train attendants shirt under a sweatshirt and he was forceful that he needed the money for the meals that we ordered.  We slowly handed over our large amount of money not quite sure if it was the real deal or not.  The food was cold and clearly not what we ordered but we thought maybe we got it wrong.  Nope!  Sure enough the real train attendant walked by soon with our evening meals.  We laughed it off and ate too much food that was not all that delicious!

The morning that we arrived in Varanasi was amazing.  We woke up early and watched the sunrise on the train.  We zoomed by small villages outside of Varanasi and along the Ganges.  We watched as dozens of men came out with their water bottles of water to go to the toilet alongside where the train was going by or out in the field somewhere.  We noticed that there were no women out going to the toilet but I hypothesized that the women were all up earlier than everyone else because they had to cook before everyone went off to school or work, so therefore they had already gone to the toilet.  We got off the train in Varanasi to men bombarding us with offers for autos and hotels.  We tried to walk out of the station to find an auto that was not a salesman but an auto driver followed us right out of the station and insisted that we take his auto.  He was funny and recited many slogans that were obviously family planning tactics from the government.  We got out of his auto after agreeing several times that two children is best for the family and the community.  He also told us some slogan about college, "no college, no knowledge" - there were several slogans that we heard a number of times from different people, obviously propaganda from the government.

We walked to our guest house, ate some real hot food that was not train fare, took hot showers, and put on fresh clothes!  We spent the day walking around Varanasi and enjoying the beautiful (yet all at the same time, extremely dirty) Ganges river.  You just cannot even imagine the things we saw.  People bathing in the dirty river, people without several limbs begging, children and grown men playing cricket, animals being washed in the Ganges, people going to the toilet right into a stream that drains in the Ganges, chai stalls, children flying kites so high in the sky, boats with fisherman, boats with tourists, a ghat made for the burning of bodies, and so much more that I cannot even begin to capture.  We decided to head up one of the ghats to see the city.  We soon had a follower.  This young man who has a shop decided to be our tour guide even though we said we didn't want one.  He just kept following us until we finally decided that he wasn't going away.  He told us he didn't want our money and that he was just really proud of his home city and liked to share the beauty of it with outsiders...haha.  He brought us to this temple but could only take us in one at a time.  Jonathan went first and I stood on this overcrowded street where a little mob fight took place.  It was a little scary but it all boiled down to Indians inability to stand in an orderly line.  I was next to go see the beautiful gold covered temple but right when we got to the gate the police officer threatened to hit our lovely tour guide and then shoved us out of the way.  I have never been pressed so tight between people and scared of what an angry crowd could do.  I held on to my photo copy of my passport that Jonathan handed me before we split up and just hoped that I wouldn't need it.  I finally reached Jonathan and grabbed his hand - I was not separating again!  Our lovely guide then led us conveniently to his over priced shop.  He then also told us that it was nice to tip people who show you around...haha, I knew there was a catch!  We sat in his shop where he showed us all the fine silk he had and some other items.  He made his shop boy go and buy us tea.  We sat there drinking tea while he tried to sell us all the silk he could.  Jonathan caved and bought a beautiful scarf and I bought a cheaper cotton scarf with Hindi script on it.  The entire day I had been observing differences between South India and North India and this is the first place that a big difference really hit me.  In North India you see a lot of children who are not in school, they are either working, just out on the streets, or they are begging.  It was sad and I felt incredibly sad for the little boy in that shop that went and got us tea.  He deserved to be in school just as all the children I encountered on our trip who were not in school deserved to be educated.  It reminded me again of just another way that the Indian education system has let its citizens down.  We finished off our evening with some food and beer just relaxing and admiring the beautiful Ganges.

The next morning we woke up way too early to catch a morning boat ride along the Ganges to watch Varanasi and the sun wake up.  We got into a boat with a young man who charged too much and didn't really take us to where we wanted to go.  There were also these two little girls who got into our boat and made us these little prayer baskets filled with flowers and a candle.  You put them into the Ganges and watch your prayers float away.  We each set five of them go.  I sent mine down the river with thoughts of my family, Durga, Ravanan, and my trip ahead with Joanthan.  It was all so beautiful and sweet until those adorable little girls demanded 500 rupees!  We didn't have the money on us but they assured us they would find us later.  Our boat ride continued but was cut seriously short.  We didn't protest we were excited to walk along the river by ourselves.  We then headed back to our hotel room to check out and head on our way to Nepal.  As we came up to the water front entrance to our hotel we realized we had been ripped off and avoided the girls.  We giggled as we ran up the stairs.  We checked out and then exited our guest house from the front where believe it or not those two little adorable girls found us!!!  They yelled up the street to us.  I stopped and was very firm with them that they were wrong about the price because another woman tried to sell them to me for 10 rupees a piece and with the money I was about to give them it was double that price.  I gave them 200 rupees and called it even.  The younger sister knew that was accurate and announced that she would like a tip while the older sister was trying to demand that it was the wrong amount.  We all walked away with no protest.

We then made our way to the bus station where we caught a bus to a border town in India that would allow us to get to Nepal.  We sat on the oldest and most uncomfortable bus for over 10 hours.  We stopped for a meal in the evening and Jonathan got off first to eat at this small stall that served roti and some gravy with a boiled egg in it.  I then got off and enjoyed mine but as I was half way through eating I saw the bus rolling by slowly with Jonathan attempting to tell the bus driver that I was right there.  He was waving frantically to me. I took a massive bite and threw my 50 rupee note at the man, got my change, and sprinted for the bus which never came to a halt!  With egg still in my mouth I sat next to Jonathan relieved that I made it on the bus while proclaiming that the food was the most amazing food ever!!  We gleefully enjoyed the next 20 minutes of our bus ride as we felt the warm food in our tummies!  We then got to our final destination late in the evening.  It was too late to cross the border so we stayed in this dirty run down lodge.  They were super nice and gave us all the forms we needed so that we could fill them out before we got there.  He also then pulled out a beer from under the counter and asked if we needed any.  It was funny and quite odd!  We enjoyed our beer while filling out the forms and discussing how nervous we were to cross the border.

We rose early as we didn't sleep well.  We headed for the border.  It was really rather anti-climatic which was good.  We then gleefully ate breakfast and bought our ticket to Pokhara.  No big deal just another 8 hours on a bus!  Our bus ride turned into a 10 hour bus ride due to a strike taking place and the road being closed off.  We sat on this super small bus with no leg room for what seemed like an eternity.  Once we got moving again the views from the window became more and more beautiful.  We followed a river all the way until we reached Pokhara.  But by the time we had gotten to Pokhara the sun had already set so we were unsure of what was really around us.  We got off the bus to once again be bombarded with men trying to get us into their taxis.  We avoided them and walked around looking for an atm - we had literally no money.  Its truly not a good idea to arrive in a foreign city where you have no idea where you are going and with no money in your pockets - lesson learned!  We finally found an atm that worked and the most beautiful taxi driver ever.  He agreed to drive us up a mountain road that was really not built for small cars to navigate but he did it.  He must have really needed the money.  He helped us figure out how to get to our lodge and left us with his number.  He would become our official taxi driver while in Pokhara!  Luckily a local man decided to show us up the trail to our lodge.  Cars cannot make it to the guest house where we were staying.  He hiked us up the rather steep trail.  Both of our bodies were sort of in shock after being cramped up in a train and bus for the past few days and the altitude did not help.  We finally reached our beautiful guest house where the owners prepared us dinner in their own kitchen and we were soon fast asleep!

Kolkata

This is a small part of the amazing trip that Jonathan and I have experienced over the last two weeks.  It is very fresh in my brain right now and was quite emotionally draining.  I am not quite sure we were both ready to get off the airplane from Nepal to be hit in the face with the overwhelming sights and smells that are big city India.  We arrived at the airport only to be overwhelmed by the many men demanding we get into their taxi.  We soon realized our mistake of not getting a pre-paid taxi.  We marched right back into the airport and got a pre-paid taxi for about a third of the price!  After riding through Kolkata for an hour in a taxi we arrived at our beautiful hotel - it really was a splurge!  Within minutes of Jonathan telling the receptionist his name he tells us that they did not in fact hold a room for us despite the booking and our email contact with them.  It was all a matter of the language barrier.  However, this rather kind man did show us a hole in the wall right down this sketchy alley.  Yup we stayed there.  It was really dirty and the circumstances were all very odd.  We both were near tears initially but after a hot bucket bath, food, and a beer we could truly laugh about our scenario!

The sights of Kolkata are unreal and unlike anything I have seen thus far in India, well, now that I think of it, very similar to Varanasi, but I will talk about that in a later post!  The discrepancy of wealth was more noticeable than where Jonathan and I live.  Many people are living on the streets.  Their whole lives take place on the streets, using the bathroom, bathing, cooking, waking up your parents, playing games, doing the wash, getting ready for work, all aspects of your life are there happening on the streets in the public eye.  We saw families huddled around little paint cans with a small fire in it to keep warm in the cool winter air.   Another pretty interesting thing we saw was these kitchens that are in the streets.  They are full kitchens that produce amazing looking food.  We were tempted but the idea of being laid up in that hotel with stomach and bowel issues was not too enticing so we just looked on in awe at the mass production of beautiful looking food that took place on the street.  The thing that really blew me away was the beautiful looking dough that was in round balls waiting to be thrown onto a well oiled wok to create delicious roti.  Or the oil drums which had been recreated into a tandoori oven.  People are so amazing and so beautiful.  One thing we also noticed which is very sad is the number of children that you see working.  There are children working everywhere.  That is something we definitely do not see in Tamil Nadu.

My last thing that I must write about Kolkata is the human rickshaw pullers.  Having ready City of Joy and learning about it a little in college I was fully interested in seeing this because a part of me could not believe that it was real.  I am not sure how I convinced myself that somehow it would not be true, but it was.  Thankfully I had someone as beautiful, loving, and supportive as Jonathan with me to experience the human rickshaws with.  They made me very emotional.  They were so small and fragile looking sometimes carrying these massive loads of goods, heavy Indian women with shopping bags and the nicest saree you could imagine, a tourist with all their luggage, a couple running errands, etc.  It is hard to imagine living a life where you would engage in such an act.  Where you would not think about how dehumanizing it would be to pay a person very little money to pull you around when you know that they are not eating proper meals, are probably homeless, and have a family to support.  Jonathan and I did buy bells from some of them.  He surprised me by just all of a sudden asking one man on a corner if we could buy a bell.  He over enthusiastically handed over his bell and asked us for 200 rupees.  Jonathan gladly handed over the money and handed me the bell as a gift.  It was the best gift I have ever received.  I had read about the bells; buying bells is a way to support the rickshaw pullers without supporting the system that exploits them.  Many men on the same corner then swarmed us and held out their bells.  I wanted to buy them all.  We then walked around with the intent of buying more.  I bought three more and Jonathan bought one.  We ate lunch at this cool stand called Hot Kati Rolls.  They make delicious wraps made out of chapati with whatever stuffing you want - it was delicious.  I got a potato and veggie mix and Jonathan got chicken with this amazing spice mix on it!  We then got in a taxi and headed to the train station.  But I made the taxi driver stop on a street corner and I got out and bought one more bell.  The man was super excited and happy.  He held his hand out to shake my hand and with a very pleased expression folded his money.  I shook his hand and ran back to the taxi.  I can't wait to someday go back to Kolkata.  It is a city with so much to offer, so much more to see, and so many more bells to buy.

Fairness cream

I have been thinking about this blog entry for quite some time.  It is a heavy topic but something that surely is a problem in India and all around the world.  Skin color.  I have never looked at a human being and judged them based on the color of their skin.  I think that the beauty of a person lies much deeper than the body they were given.  I do know that this is not the case for everyone.  I know this to be true because even today we face discrimination based on skin color.  Not just in America but all around the world.  In Tamil Nadu beauty is defined by how light your skin is.  Children with whiter skin get more attention at school and are more popular among their peers.  It is sickening.
I guess this idea that I will present should not be much of a surprise but it still shocks me, despite the fact that we provide similar products in America.  There are several companies who sell fairness creams.  Creams with bleaching agents to make your skin more fair.  There are face washes, body washes, day creams, night creams, long term treatments, etc.  These companies are maintaining the idea that lighter is better and they are making a profit off of people.  Jonathan and I have noted a few companies that make fairness creams and we have stopped purchasing products from them but it is nearly impossible as most all large competitors carry a fairness product.
I wish we lived in a society where all were just happy with their skin color.  I wish that people would see how beautiful each person's skin is and how it is unlike anyone else's skin.  For example, my skin has this slight yellowish tint to it.  Jonathan's skin is very white with rosy patches on his cheeks and freckles all over his arms.  Durqa's skin is this dark shade of brown.  Her forearms and back are even deeper shades of dark chocolate color from hard work in the sun.  Ravanan's skin is this creamy brown color with deep lines of dark brown on his palms.  All four of us beautiful.  We should all just embrace our skin color and love each other for the beautiful shade we provide to the wide spectrum of color of human skin tones.  So whether you are thinking of going tanning, applying tanning cream, bleaching your skin, applying fairness cream, or any other skin altering product, remember, I think that your skin color is beautiful and it looks good on you!

Photo Project

I am doing a photo project with my students and it is amazing.  I took all their portraits a few weeks ago and then got the pictures printed.  I then had them practice talking about themselves and then got them to write it all down.  Kind of as a record of the progress they have made.  I then pasted all the pictures onto paper and had them write in their best penmanship about themselves.  I then let them color on the paper too!  They all loved every minute of it.  I have fully completed the project with my fifth standard class.  I took their pictures while they were holding their projects.  I then explained that they got to keep the project.  They could not believe it.  I then had a classroom fully of over excited children who were all trying to read their project aloud to me at the same time.  It was nice to see how proud of their work they were and how excited they were to take it home and share it with their family.  Today I will start working on the project with my fourth standard class!  I will post the pictures when they are completed!

  All the photos!

Naveen Kumar, a ten year old, and some beautiful updates!

Two weekends ago I went to go and visit Jonathan.  As usual I was greeted by all the children with hugs and English greetings.  I always feel like a celebrity when I come to the Gurukulum.  Right when I got there a few of the older children asked how my father was and told me that they have prayed for him.  One student, Naveen Kumar, told me he has prayed for my father many times.  He even knew his name.  He is most certainly a very beautiful young man.  He is very intelligent, inquisitive, empathetic, and dedicated.  He goes on daily runs with Jonathan.  I was lucky enough to be able to join them on one of their runs.  It was beautiful.  Naveen told me what each and every tree was and what its medicinal value was.  He even made us chomp on leaves as we ran as it was good for our health!  He got to talking about his future, family, and native place.  It is apparent that he is very proud of his culture and his country.  On the topic of his family, he shared with Jonathan and I that his mother died and it was just his dad and his brother.  His dad is at home and his brother is in another hostel somewhere else.  I nearly started crying with that but then he just blurted out, "I want my mother".  I see these children all the time and I see the children everyday at my site.  I see them playing with their peers, doing school work, doing chore, and living their daily lives - and through this I think I have just been over taken by their daily joy and beauty to remember that their lives have been altered by a death in the family or extreme poverty.  When you realize all of this it makes you see and feel the greatness and beautifulness of these children even more.

The other day Durqa and her sister showed up in my room.  This is not all that unusual.  Shortly after arriving Durqa told me that her sister is very sad.  I asked why and she told me that her sister's son, who is ten years old, left this passed weekend to go and work in a egg laying chicken factory.  He will no longer attend school.  I do not know all the details but Durqa has told us that her sister's husband left the family, leaving Durqa's sister with four young children to care for, three girls and one boy.  They live with Durqa's mother and father.  Durqa helps to care for them as well.  Now, I don't mean to bring the reader down with sad things from India but its important to understand that for a family with a low socio-economic status this is not all that unusual.  Not all children are lucky enough to end up in an environment like the Gurukulum where they are cared for, fed, clothed, and most importantly - educated.  I wish there were more non-profits and more social services in India to help all the children.

The coffee/tea man knows my name!!!  I realized the other day how integrated into my little neighborhood I feel.  It's funny, its one of those things you don't really realize right away until suddenly one day it just hits you!  The men who work at the local restaurant know my name because I frequently buy coffee, tea, or naan there.  The man at the coffee/tea stall knows my name because I go there each morning for coffee.  And he actually really likes me because I am friends with Durqa!  I see the man who recharges my internet somewhere else in town and he smiles at me and waves.  It feels good to be integrated into the community and feel comfortable.  Have I mentioned lately that I love India!?!?!

"I am Jesus!"  So the other day I was sitting on the floor in one of the classrooms with a few of my children.  Christmas is all the talk lately because Laura and Jenna are going home for the month of December.  They asked me if I was Christian and if I celebrated Christmas.  This turned into all my children proclaiming to me what religion they practice but the best response was from one of my two Christian students who eagerly pointed at herself and said, "I am Jesus!"  I couldn't help bursting out laughing.  As you can tell my students struggle with the 'to be' verb still.

In the evenings I have started drawing with the hostel students from my school.  There are only seven of them but it is so much fun.  We just sit and color pictures.  It is a simple activity but I have so much fun just being with them.

The pictures I included at the top of my blog:
The first is of me arranging drawings from Jonathan's children to hang them on the wall.  Jonathan caught me off guard in my saree hard at work.
The second is of Jonathan and Naveen at the entrance to the Gurukulum before their run.
The third is of Jonathan with two of his students and their parents on the day that they came to visit.

Hail to Aquafina

This is just a real short entry to tell you all that Jonathan and I are truly obsessed with Aquafina.  Why?  Well, for one thing it is the greatest tasting water you can find in India.  And the other reason:  It is safe and clean!  Jonathan's drinking water is not always clean.  He often struggles with stomach problems largely due to his drinking water.  When I visit him I look forward to purchasing a large bottle of Aquafina and drinking it all in one go.  We have discussed this issue many times and think that it is funny since we are strongly opposed to bottled drinking water and here we are in India and we have spent literally hundreds of rupees on bottled water - and we enjoyed every minute of it!

We also were discussing how crazy it is that back home we never question the quality of water we are given.  We go to a restaurant and receive water - no big deal.  In India we go to a restaurant and receive water and we both stumble over who will be first to ask for the Aquafina as we kindly just look into the glass wondering if that water is really that bad!  We also talked about how crazy it is that all water at home is drinkable.  You could stand in your shower and just gulp down as much water as you wanted.  If you were to drink the yellowish/brownish water that we bathe in you most surely would be laid up for at least a month with some terrible GI illness.  So next time you are at your facet pouring yourself a glass of beautiful water do us a favor:  Be grateful and most definitely enjoy it!